Asian yuppie: Plus, I wanna know when I'm going to get my share of those statues!
Jewish hipster: Just because you look like the Qin emperor doesn't mean you deserve to get his stuff.
Asian yuppie: Well, if not me, then who?
–1 Train
Asian yuppie: Plus, I wanna know when I'm going to get my share of those statues!
Jewish hipster: Just because you look like the Qin emperor doesn't mean you deserve to get his stuff.
Asian yuppie: Well, if not me, then who?
–1 Train
Hobo: Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, steak!
Asian man: Yes.
–57th & Broadway
Asian girl: Do you want to go eat Korean food?
Little brother: What does it taste like?
Asian girl: It’s like American food.
–Manhattan Mall Food Court, 33rd & 6th
Hot Asian chick: Yeah, so I kept asking my boyfriend about how he had his ex finger his ass, and he got so pissy at me.
Gay black dude: Hmmph. He probably doesn’t want to admit he wants it up the booty all the time.
Hot Asian chick: He said he pretended that he liked it when she she’d butt play him. I don’t buy that shit.
Gay black dude: Honey, real men don’t pretend. Run!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: henry
Guy #1: Why did you cut your knish like you’re an Asian person?
Girl: Because I’m a jink!
Guy #2: Anna, you are one crazy cookie.
–Astoria
Man: I have never seen so many chinks in one Starbucks in all my life.
–Starbucks, Crosby & Spring
Overheard by: Jas
Guy: This is, like, the third time they’ve made me feel stupid in public. God, I hate Chinese people!
–Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Old Asian lady to black man, in thick accent: You stay back! (clutches her purse)
(white girl watching shakes head, laughs in disbelief)
Black man: Oh, like you know what's up, white girl.
White girl: Oh, I'm Jewish. She probably hates me, too. (pause, then sadly) Now the whole train probably hates me.
–1 Train
Fruit stand guy: Too much papaya! Too much marijuana! Too much cocaine!
–Dean & Court, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Zach
Asian girl: You’re not following the diet plan! It’s either junk food or no food!
–Stuyvesant High School
Asian nerd #1: Neutrons!
Asian nerd #2: … Subatomic particles!
Asian nerd #3: Velocity times speed equals… Power! [all start cheering and high-fiving one another.]
–Park Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: …not very science-y
Woman: When you get to be my age, everybody looks like somebody. And some people pass by twice.
–Lincoln Center
Asian girl: Oh, no! No one had sex on the floor. I mean, OK, so a few of us girls were rolling around on the floor in our bra and panties or whatever but no one was having sex on the floor!
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
20-something guy on cell: I'm sure she wants to castrate me. (pause) Remember her Asian friend, well… (pause) Yeah, I hit that. (pause, then uncontrollable laugh) I gots the yellow fever!
–59th St & 11th
Chinese brother to sister: All Asians get off at this stop. (looking out window) See? They're all Asian. (pause) Oh, wait, there's one English guy.
–Grand Street Stop, D Train
Overheard by: Justin W
Asian girl on cell: You know how people say all Asians look the same? Well, I realized something today. All white people look the same to me–I honestly can't tell them apart!
–Port Authority
20-something Asian girl on cell, in perfect American English: So, I just got welcomed to America for the second time today. Are my clothes that… (with disgust) Asian?
–Metro-North
Overheard by: RedShikari
