Fat girl: So I think I lost my favorite jeans.
Friend: What jeans?
Fat girl: You know, the ones that make my ass look small.
Friend: Honey, you can’t lose something that doesn’t exist.
–Union Square
Fat girl: So I think I lost my favorite jeans.
Friend: What jeans?
Fat girl: You know, the ones that make my ass look small.
Friend: Honey, you can’t lose something that doesn’t exist.
–Union Square
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
Guy #1: I need to get some Chapstick. I have some chapped ass lips, man.
Guy #2: Gross, you have chapped asslips?
–Times Square
Overheard by: patrick Smith
Guy: Yo, Katie, why do you always gotta look at me like I just looked at your ass or somethin’?
Katie: Well, because most of the time you usually are!
–Cheap Shots, 1st Ave between 9th & St.Mark’s
Overheard by:
Girl: Whatever, it’s disgusting. I mean, you can cum in my butt but not in my vag.
–Q train
Woman: I have sex in my vagina, not in my bottom!
–Prospect Park
Girl 1: I just saw, like, 3 cute Jewish-looking guys.
Girl 2: Yeah, that one in the window?
Girl 1: Yeah.
Girl 2: Wanna go touch his butt?
–48th and 9th
Overheard by: alexie
Headline by: lori
Runners-Up:
· “Boy, if I had a quarter for every time someone said that about me, I’d have…..35 cents.” – Adam
· “By That I Mean Marry Him For His Money” – dean morris
· “Diaper Change Time at the Mt. Sanai Maternity Ward…” – Warren Freeman
· “Goy chicks are, like, so daring” – DJG
· “It’s only Trayf if you eat him” – djingo
· “Jewish: The Other White Meat” – James
· “Or we could go tweak that catholic-looking guy’s nipples” – morgz
· “Pants so tight you can see his religion” – scarfaccio
· “Satan Would Approve” – hl
· “The “Shiksa Shocka”” – Vick
· “Ugh… the cute ones are ALWAYS jewish” – Jnice
· “Yeah, That Wallet Is Huge.” – Keith Becker
Woman #1: She got a booty do
Woman #2: A booty do?
Woman #1: Yeah, you know, when your belly stick out more than your booty do?
–4 train
Well-dressed woman to well-dressed man: It’s not my ears, it’s your ass.
–3rd Ave between 11th & 12th
Overheard by: Heather DuCharme
Black guy to white girl: Hey, Slim Goodie! I wanna take you home and fatten you up right now! Some KFC, that’s all you need to juice that ass up.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah Bitchards
Girl to friend: Girl, you know you got a hobbit ass
–Steps outside the Met
Overheard by: Dawn Duffey
Guy #1 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these babes.
Guy #2 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these jugs.
Guy #1: Look at these bombs.
Guy #2: Holy shit! Russian Scuds!
Guy #1: Look at these torpedos!
Guy #2: Look at these fun bags!
Guy #1: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! What a babe!
Guy #2: Yeah, but her friend has to do something with that can.
–Broadway & 22nd
Overheard by: Eric Wenstrom
Frat boy #1: Dude! So if you had a pencil, and she was naked, you could totally fit the pencil in the folds under her ass. She’s just flappy, man!
Frat boy #2: Yeah, dude!
–2 train
