Frat boy: So, where are you going for the summer?
Preppy girl: Dead babies.
–C Train
Overheard by: Jacob
Frat boy: So, where are you going for the summer?
Preppy girl: Dead babies.
–C Train
Overheard by: Jacob
Guy, running into store: Yo, you guys got baby hats?
Store guy (baffled, in thick accent): Baby hats?
Guy: Baby hats. Baby hats!
Store guy: No, we don't carry those.
Guy (appalled): Shit! You don't got no baby hats?
–99 Cent Store, Fort Greene
Overheard by: toto
Mom, entering subway in Harlem with two-year-old son: Honey, just go sit on the floor.
(son begins to sit, mom laughs) No! Don't do that! I'm just messing with you!
–A Train
Overheard by: adam h.
Jen: My client is soooo annoying. She won't eat soft cheese cuz she claims it's bad for her baby.
Renee: Soft cheese is bad for her baby?
Jen: Well, yeah, but if she melts it then it's fine.
–39th & 2nd
Overheard by: Dorey
(baby is crying)
Mother: You better stop crying when I count to three. One… Two…
(baby stops crying, but starts again after a while)
Mother: I said “two!”
(baby stops crying again)
–BX9 Bus
Overheard by: Jason
Teen girl: The teacher was like, "Everybody did well on the oral part, that's a good thing, because I hadn't thought it was too long or hard." And then a kid in the back shouted, "That's what she said!"
–Times Square
Teen girl, after being hugged by two boys: Okay, which one of you fingered me?
–Outside Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: disgusted educator on bus
Teen on cell: Stuff? What the hell? Wait, stuff and things? What the fuck, man?!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
Teenage boy: Every time you type "lol" a baby gets kicked in the head.
–150th & Columbus
Teen girl on cell: Why you always call me "ghetto?" I'm not ghetto. (long pause) Okay, I am! But I can't help it!
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: taylor
Teen punk girl on phone: Yeah, I kinda got to third in a dumpster… No! No, it was a clean dumpster!
–St Mark's & 2nd
Guy #1: Oh, hey, Dan is back in New York now!
Guy #2: Yeah, actually I was over at his house this past weekend.
Guy #1: Did you get to see the baby?
Guy #2: I did get to see the baby.
Guy #1: Well? How was the baby??
Guy #2: The baby would have been adorable if it was a boy, but…unfortunately…
–20th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Bridget
NYU chick #1: What kind of dog is that one? (points towards woman with a bundle in her arms)
NYU chick #2: That's a baby.
–59th St
Overheard by: Kate
20-something guy to date: Yeah, I had mine done by a real mohel.
20-something girl, awkwardly: Oh, really?
20-something guy: Yep, the guy's whole job is to go around chopping off babies' dicks.
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: dream profession?
Ten-year old girl: Can I have another baby?
Mom: Um… No…maybe two.
–W 238th & Broadway
Overheard by: Krisztina, hoping to God they're talking about dolls
