Chick #1: My brother got me a $50 gift certificate for Anthropologie.
Chick #2: Well, I got you a manicure. That must qualify as the best given by someone who didn’t come out of the same womb as you.
–Senor Swanky’s, Bleecker Street
Chick #1: My brother got me a $50 gift certificate for Anthropologie.
Chick #2: Well, I got you a manicure. That must qualify as the best given by someone who didn’t come out of the same womb as you.
–Senor Swanky’s, Bleecker Street
Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that.
–39th & Lex
Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!”
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey?
–Museum of Natural History
Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s.
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: CocteauBoy
5-Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here?
–59th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub
Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much.
–American Wing Cafe, the Met
Overheard by: guingel
MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Brewster
Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you.
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Jon A.
Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jon
Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will.
–53rd & Broadway
Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat.
–10th St & 1st Ave
Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop.
–Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kaleena
Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus.
–14th St 1 station
Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard!
–59th & 7th
Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.”
–The Strand, Broadway
Overheard by: Miss Parker
Guy #1: Oh my god, Jim, when I was straight 20 years ago I would have though that Julia was so hot.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, totally hot.
–14th St & 1st Ave
College guy #1: I really regret not having sex with a friend’s mom in high school. Remember Mike’s* mom?
College guy #2: She was so hot. Dude, I beat her in Monopoly… which, in my book, is far better than sex.
–14th & 7th
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don’t nobody look at each other on the train?
Mother: ‘Cause they ugly.
–G train
Thug #1: So you know her, then.
Thug #2: No.
Thug #1: But you just said “that hot spic chick.”
Thug #2: No, I didn't.
Thug #1: You did! You just called her “that hot spic chick!”
Thug #2: No, I said “that hot delicious chick.” Because everyone's been talking about her.
–7th & Berry, Brooklyn
Overheard by: EthanK
Brooklyn guy to buddy: Man, that chick is the hottest chick in the whole world. Well, except one — Ariel. Ohhh, Ariel. You know, the little mermaid?
–31st St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Will
Guy: Man, if a girl is hot enough that you want get with her, and she’s single… You know she’s gotta be fucked up in the head.
–C train
Girl on cell: Oh, yeah, he was so hot. I made eye contact with him, like, two times, so I guess we’re basically dating now.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Audrey Monaco
Trendy teen: Down Syndrome is so hot right now!
–Tompkins Square Park
Woman on cell: But how hot can a cactus get?
–Bed, Bath & Beyond
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: You only think she’s hot because her family has money.
–26th St & 8th Ave
Guy #1: What about my friend Beth that you met? She had a nice face.
Snotty guy #2: Oh, she had a rat face, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
–Chipotle, Midtown
Crying hot chick: I don’t understand why you spent half the night telling me all the reasons you can’t be with me and then wanted to have sex with me anyway!
Douchebag: Uh, you were pretty… And naked.
–Houston & Allen
Hispanic construction man to hot girl passing by: Ay! Qué linda!
Hot girl: Who's Linda?
–33rd b/w 8th & 9th
