Wednesday Bloodliners

Girl to guy: And then he cheated on me with his male and female cousin.

–9th & 21st, Chelsea

Guy on phone: You should tell him next time he should keep his dick in his sister.

–72nd & Central Park West

Guido, getting his hair cut, in a thick Staten Island accent: Show me where it says in the Holy Bible that you can't bang your stepsister.

–Staten Island Barber Shop

Overheard by: Snewsboy

Dude on cell: Bitch, I don't care how much you give me, your ass just ain't worth it. (pause) Plus, I can just get it for free from my sister.

–Coffee Shop, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: really hope he didn't mean what i thought…

Girl to mother, after game: I'd rather go down on my sister than take the d train to Times Square right now.

–Old Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: datura0001

Posted on January 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Barbershop, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Family Ties, Free stuff!, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guidos, Guys, Incest, Infidelity, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Staten Island, Street, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yankee Stadium

Even the Nuns in This Town Are Sassy

Nun: A donation please for St. Francis? (stretches out her hand with a silver plate)
Woman: I'm sorry.
Nun: Yeah, ya look it.

–Union Square Holiday Market

Overheard by: stacey

Posted on January 20, 2009
Christianity, Money & Class, Nuns, Offers and requests, Panhandling, Union Square and East Village, Women

You Wouldn't Think It Was Funny If You Had to Listen to It Every Day

Crazy man, yelling: Sweet Jesus! The lord is aaaaalwaaays watching! Watching you wicked, wicked people! Heavens be praised, for he has shown me the way! He can show you too, but all this wickedness and sin has to stop! He knows, he knows! (lights in train go out) Yes, dear Jesus! For he has plunged us into darkness. Do not say “the weather” or “The MTA,” it is the Lord who sees and knows all, and he has seen the wickedness you people have brought into the world and he has plunged us into darkness! We are truly in the darkness. (lights go back on) Praise the lord, for he has shown us the light!

–F Train

Overheard by: Elisabeth

Posted on January 4, 2009
Christianity, Crazies, Crazy, Jesus, On the Subway, Weather, Weirdness

If We'll All Burn in Hell Anyway, Why Are You Preaching?

Jesus freak on subway: We are all sinners. We commit sins everyday. We will all burn in hell.
Woman next to him: I don't feel that way.
Jesus freak: Oh yeah? What do you do?
Woman: I am a doctor.
Jesus freak: Hah! You murder people everyday!

–1 Train

Posted on December 12, 2008
Christianity, God Squad, Jobs & Careers, Medicine, Murder, On the Subway, Questions, Weirdness, Women

Which One's the New Yorker?

Ghetto preacher: Everyday I wake up and thank the lord…
White girl: I don't.

–125th & Lexington

Overheard by: Agie Markiewicz

Posted on November 24, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Black People, Christianity, Comebacks, God, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Only in New York, Preachers, White People

At Least Use the “United Negro Pizza Fund” Line

Panhandler: Are there any Christians here who could help me out? Any Christians who can spare just one penny? (no one gives him any money, so he goes to next car)
Panhandler (muttering) I can't believe there's not one Christian who'll help me out.
Man standing nearby (yelling): Amateur!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Iris K

Posted on October 4, 2008
Christianity, Default, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Men, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Panhandling, Questions

…I'll Invent My Own Science Fiction Religion

Christian pamphlet-wielder: Excuse me, would you like to learn about the rapture?
Exasperated 20-something: I swear, if I see one more of you beam-me-up ladies…

–Penn Station

Posted on September 27, 2008
Activists, Christianity, Church, Default, God Squad, Offers and requests, Penn Station, Questions, Religion, Threats, Women, Words

Wow, You Sound Like My Abortion Counselor

Yelling man: Excuse me, attention please, girls only! Two years ago we were blessed by an earth angel, and that earth angel is me, in this body! If you want to come with me, girls, to heaven, I can give you some pamphlets, information…but there is a catch! Only girls under the age of 29 may come with the earth angel! Girls above the age of 29 are destined to the infernal afterlife!
Queer Latino to lady friend: Guess you're gonna burn.

–4 Train

Overheard by: nooners

Posted on August 25, 2008
Age/Aging, Christianity, Crazies, Creepsters, Default, Friends, Gender issues, God Squad, Latinos, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Threats, Weirdness

So It's Kosher

Man: Holy shit!
Little child: Ooooohh! Mommy, he said shit.
Mother: Don't worry, it's holy.

–Liberty Avenue

Overheard by: Karina

Posted on August 16, 2008
Brooklyn, Christianity, Insults, Kids, Men, Moms, Words

Bingo in the Parish Hall Prepares You for Eternal Torment

Teenage girl #1: Yeah, I celebrate Easter. I’m Catholic. It’s tradition for my family to go gambling in Atlantic City that day.
Teenage girl #2: Wait, isn’t that one of the seven unforgivable vices? You’re doing it on Easter, too. Haha.
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, well… We don’t really believe in that religion bullshit. Atlantic City allows us to stick it to the man.
Teenage girl #1: Is that Jesus? Wow, you’re going to hell.

–51st & Park Ave

Posted on July 21, 2008
Christianity, Default, Girls, Hell, Holidays, Jesus, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Teens, U.S. Geography

Christianity

At Least Use the “United Negro Pizza Fund” Line