Girl #1: Oh, look! Those clothes are cute. Let’s go look over there.
Girl #2: Those are maternity clothes.
Girl #1: Oh my God, no way!
Girl #2: Yes, see? It says “A Pea in the Pod Maternity Clothes”.
Girl #1: Oh wow, I had no idea!
Girl #2: Yeah, they are.
Girl #1: Well! There isn’t going to be a pea in this pod any time soon, I can tell you that!
–Macy’s
Guy: Oh, man! It is not a good day to be my underwear!
–Wine Store, 75th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Raven
10-year-old to little brother: Hey! C'mere! You wanna play Captain Underpants?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: dogboy
Guy on cell: I'm not paying her to smell your underwear!
–57th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Lagsalot
Loud older gentleman watching people at subway entrance: They don't wear brassieres anymore!
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Zombie Boyfriend
Older lady in funeral procession behind bag piper wearing kilt: I looked. He's wearing underpants.
–120th & Broadway
Greenpeace guy: I know you care!
Cute NYU girl (apathetically): Ehhhhh…
Greenpeace guy: You have ideals!
Cute NYU girl (even more apathetically): Ehhhh…
(Greenpeace guy looks downfallen)
Cute NYU girl (still walking): I like…your mittens.
–14th St b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: not an idealist
Hipster girl: ‘Flushing Queens’ would be a great name for a man.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Beautiful Barnard Woman
Drunk dude watching girl rip the shirt off a guy: What, no blood? Queens is lame.
–Shea Stadium
Boyfriend to girlfriend: Prepare to be blown away by the majesty of Queens!
–E train platform, Penn Station
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound A train.
–Brooklyn-bound A train
Overheard by: Maggie
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound… No, Manhattan-bound… No, Queens… Wait, hang on. This is a Manhattan-bound E train. Next stop: 53rd and Lex… Shit.
–Manhattan-bound E train, 53rd & Lex
Announcement over the subway: This is not the Queens-bound E train. [Half the train empties] This is the Queens-bound E train.
–E train, Penn Station
Girl #1: What did you do last night?
Girl #2: Wandered around Goldman Sachs with a Sesame Street pillow. You?
Girl #1: Um…
–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman #1 in elevator: Why aren't you wearing a jacket? You're going to be freezing!
Woman #2: I don't need one. It's because I'm fat.
Woman #1: (silence)
Woman #2: You know it's true. You're not saying anything because you know I'm fat. Most people would say, “No, no, no. You're not fat!” but you're not saying that because you think I'm fat. Think about it.
Woman #1: I'm thinking about it.
–39th St
Mother: Honey, put on your shirt. This is a shirt and shoes kind of place.
Small boy: But you let me at home!
–Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Overheard by: Jonathan K.
Chick: Mine is the one that’s not a dead animal.
Mom: The dead animal is mine…Actually, it’s many animals. Many vicious animals. They deserved to die, to keep me warm!
–ViceVersa, West 51st Street
Overheard by: Mic Cruz
Woman #1: Are you Jewish?
Woman #2: Do I look Jewish? No, I’m not Jewish. I wear pants.
–B1 bus
20-ish girl: Can I ask you a personal question?
Friend: Yeah.
20-ish girl: When you hook up with a guy and you want him to take your shirt off, do you put your arms up?
Friend: Ummm… No.
20-ish girl: Well, that’s what I did the other day when I wanted my mom to take my shirt off…
–59th & Lex
