Girl eating chocolate cake to woman in next cubicle: Oh my god, this is so good–I think even you would eat this cake.
Woman in next cubicle: I don't eat nothing coming off of Long Island.
–Random NYU Administration Office
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl eating chocolate cake to woman in next cubicle: Oh my god, this is so good–I think even you would eat this cake.
Woman in next cubicle: I don't eat nothing coming off of Long Island.
–Random NYU Administration Office
Overheard by: Betty Noir
(construction worker pulls out a new tool from the truck)
Worker #1: Where the fuck did you get that?
Worker #2: Fuckin' Home Depot!
Worker #3: That's fuckin' fancy!
–33rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Erin Flannery
Female coworker: I would pay for it.
Male coworker: You are paying for it, they're just not putting it in.
–16th & 5th
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Suit #1: I have to leave at five today.
Suit #2: Why?
Suit #1: I have to go to church.
Suit #2: Jesus Christ! I wish I was religious.
–New York Post
Nurse #1: So what are you guys doing for passover?
Nurse #2: Nothing.
Nurse #1: No Seder?
Nurse #2: I’m not Jewish.
Nurse #1: No way? Really?
Nurse #2: Really.
Nurse #1: Yes, you are.
Nurse #2: I’m not.
Nurse #1: You totally are. I know you are.
–Mount Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: Janis
(Irish service elevator operator is showing new guy the ropes, delivery Thug walks in)
Operator, with Irish brogue: What’s up?
Thug: 11 C, man. (thug looks at the new guy)
Thug: You new man? Yo, I gotta ask you a question, do you drink beer?
New guy: Yup.
Thug: You drink Guinness?
New guy: Yeah, sometimes.
Thug: Alright, I gotta know, is the Guinness here different from the Guinness back home?
New guy: I am a Long Island Jew.
Thug: Shit, for real? I thought everybody who worked here was from Ireland.
(thug gets off the elevator to make delivery)
Operator: You should’ve asked him if it’s different buying food in a supermarket instead of having to chase and kill it with a spear.
–E 77th St
Subway rider to Japanese tourist: You guys need to stick up for yourselves, man. You know what I’d say if I was from Japan? I’d say: "I am yokozuna, muthafucka!"
–E Train, 42nd St
Male customer to clerk, after computer system goes down: I guess you have some little Chinese guy in the back working on the problem.
–Brooklyn DMV
40something woman walking dogs to friend: You know, these dogs are half Chinese. With all these things going on in China, they get very upset! (friend gives skeptical look) I’m serious!
–Upper West Side
Crazy lady, to no one in particular: All Carpenter songs are actually Korean national anthems. If a Korean is bludgeoning you, just sing a national anthem and they will stop. If a Korean is bludgeoning you, just sing a national anthem and they will stop. It’s the Koreans who do most of the bludgeoning, and that’s what upsets me.
–99 Cent Pizza, 41st & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Michael O’Connor
Worker, sounding pleasantly surprised: Oh, Asians! Damn! Asians!
–Canal Street and Centre Street, Chinatown
Young male professional: So your dad’s cool with you not eating?
Young female professional: Yeah, he’s totally fine with it. He’s gonna start next week too.
–Union Square
Waiter from Minnesota: Yeah, check it out! Minnesota is the 2nd healthiest-eating state!
Bartender from Brooklyn: What do you eat in Minnesota?
Waiter: Well, there are a lot of Scandinavians there so we eat like, you know, sandwiches.
Bartender: (silence)
Waiter: What?
Bartender: You’re actually serious, aren’t you?
–Greenwich Ave & 7th Ave
Overheard by: TrigStarr
Salesman: Ah, so soly. Mr. Wong not in today.
Saleswomen: My boyfriend’s Asian. Don’t make fun of them.
Salesman: I’m not making fun of them. I’m making fun of the way they talk.
–Sales Department, SoHo
