Passing tourist: What are you guys waiting for?
Tourist in line: We don’t know, but we thought it might be fun.
Passing tourist: Okay! [Gets in line].
–Greene & Grand
Overheard by: Collin
Passing tourist: What are you guys waiting for?
Tourist in line: We don’t know, but we thought it might be fun.
Passing tourist: Okay! [Gets in line].
–Greene & Grand
Overheard by: Collin
Young woman #1: I don’t want to apply too many times though, because I don’t want to look desperate.
Young woman #2: Oh, how many times have you applied?
Young woman #1: None.
–Diner, 48th & Lexington
Overheard by: Visitor to NYC
Lesbian daughter: Wow, I have such burnt-out memory cells. Not to be confused with my sickle cell.
Sister, laughing: It’s all mom’s fault! All mom’s fault.
Lesbian to mom, screaming and laughing: Why didn’t you eat my placenta?! You should’ve eaten my placenta! You needed to eat my placenta!
Mom, calm as can be: I’m not African. And besides, you have enough people eating your placenta.
–Parking Lot, NYU College
Overheard by: Lesbian’s Wifey
[Class is conjugating Japanese verbs in the “to make someone or let someone” form.]Student #1: To make someone eat.
Student #2: To make someone sit.
Student #3: To make someone forget. [Beat, then in English.] Wait, how can you make someone forget something?
Japanese teacher, totally serious: Bourne Identity.
–Japanese Class, Columbia University
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Girl walking with friend: Well how about a fist to your vagina!?
Friend: [Looking around.] Uhh you really don’t want to be saying that right now.
–Jay Street
Dispatcher’s voice on walkie talkie: Four black males seen in the subway station, dressed as women. Repeat, four black males dressed as women.
Cop, into walkie talkie: Ten-four to central… Is that breaking a law?
–77th St Subway Station
Overheard by: AJ
Man pushing a child in a stroller to old woman walking slowly: Get out of the way!
[Shoves her out of the way, runs across the street frantically pushing the stroller.]Old woman: Next time I’ll kill your baby!
–Christopher & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Randy & Jen
[At 3:00 pm.]Researcher: Oh, I needed to talk to you about the… Oh, wait, good morning! Sorry, good morning first.
Doctor: Morning!? It’s almost noon!
Intern, scared and whispering: Oh my goodness, they’re all crazy.
–NYU Medical Center
[Guy walks by and elbows girl in head.]Girl: Ow!
[A drunk girl is passing by.]Drunk girl: I’m sorry!
Girl: No, some guy just elbowed me in the head.
Drunk girl: Don’t worry about it. One time I met this guy here and went home with him, but it turned out he lived in Brooklyn. And he was fat.
–Bar, 14th & Ave A
