Guy to group of friends: God, it's ball soup out here today!
Friends: Totally!
Chick: Yeah, my balls are soup!
–Ouside Spa, SoHo
Guy to group of friends: God, it's ball soup out here today!
Friends: Totally!
Chick: Yeah, my balls are soup!
–Ouside Spa, SoHo
Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians.
–Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room
Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Kayla Monetta
Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian."
–E 10th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down.
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown.
–Brooklyn College
Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Not hungry either
Indecisive girl at DiPaola's turkey stand: I'd like some… hot… Italian…
Guy selling turkey, eagerly: Yes?
Indecisive girl: Sausage.
–Fort Greene Farmers Market
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Girl: Wait, is today September 11th?
Guy: Yeah, why?
Girl: Oh, my friend's Vietnamese restaurant opens tomorrow!
–Waverly & Broadway
Lady: Do you sell falafel?
Vendor: Ah! Falafel is gyro, gyro is falafel!
Lady: Falafel is chick peas. Gyro is meat.
Vendor: Falafel is bullshit!
Lady: I’ll have a gyro.
–Canal & Greene
Overheard by: Melina the Sad Falafel
Woman: How’s the paella?
Waitress: It’s good. It comes with clams and the whole nine yards.
–Panchito’s, Macdougal St.
Guy #1: What about fusion? Do you like fusion?
Guy #2: No, I want the food to taste like it’s supposed to.
Guy #1: So there is something you won’t eat.
Guy #2: Or Mexican, I won’t eat Mexican.
–Penn Plaza elevator
Black guy: I want pork fried rice with fried wonton, a shrimp roll, and wonton soup…Hey! Did you hear me?!
Counter lady: Yes, yes…pork spare ribs.
–Chinese takeout, Madison & Rutgers
Overheard by: Joe R
Man: If you wanna have lunch, you’ve got to have lunch here, whether it’s Chinese or Subway.
–Canal St
Overheard by: Aahlixx
Little boy: Does all Chinese food come from Chinatown?
–Williamsburg
Woman: It’s like listening to an Arab speaking Spanish talking about the Chinese.
–W Train
Overheard by: Bluto
Tourist: The Chinese are notorious for blurring the line between pet and soup.
–Chinatown
Queen picking up delivery: Damn, I hate dealing with these Chinese people, they never be understanding English good!
–Fordham dorms, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: I don’t understand you either
Ghetto guy: Sushi is real Chinese food.
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: John Wu
Hipster Chinese girl on cell: Americans have too much freedom. Yes, too much freedom.
–52nd & Madison
Shish kebab vendor: Are you sure you want the really hot sauce…? And not the regular hot sauce?
Girl: Um, why?
Shish kebab vendor: Want me to describe it? It’s like if I tear out your asshole and tickle it.
–Main St, Flushing
