Wednesday One-Liners Use “Summer” As a Verb

Older woman to friend: Down there where the servants are, you know, where the gardening people and the kitchen is, I don't go there. I just don't go there.

–38th & 5th

Overheard by: garden in manhattan?

Greek Princess shopping for wedding rings: This isn't the more expensive ring I wanted but we just bought an apartment in the 70s.

–Tiffany's Second Floor

Overprivileged teenage girl on cell: The bourgeoisie… The bourgeoisie are like, the common people.

–Union Square

College girl: No, I mean seriously: who, by the age of 25, has not been to Rome or Florence?

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Dan

Six-year-old: Mommy, how do you spell "Forbes"?

–Restaurant, Upper East Side

Overheard by: jess

Posted on August 10, 2014
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Fordham, Friends, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Old People, On Cell, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Rich people, Sorority Girls, Store, Stupidity, Teens, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Are History, Dude

Guy holding baby: I’ve decided I’m going to write a pop-up history of the ancient world, based on Herodotus. Should be great for babies.

–Strand Bookstore

American history tutor: The only dictator I know of is Hugo Chavez, and that’s because I met him.

–Jake’s Saloon, 57th & 10th

Overheard by: poor kid’s gonna fail that test

Rich mom with two kids: … And it was named after our country’s first president, Christopher Columbus.

–117th & Broadway

Overheard by: doesn’t get columbus day off

Guy to friend: If I can make it through the ’80s, I can make it through anything.

–Astor Pl

Overheard by: squishduck

Professor: Sigismondo Malatesta was the only person in history to ever be publicly consigned to Hell by the pope. Now, that’s when a pope was a pope. I wish the pope would just get on TV and say, ‘You’re going to Hell!’

–Fordham University – Rose Hill

Overheard by: Christina

Guy: Wait, have I ever told you guys about my irrational fear of the late 1800s?

–NYU dorm

Overheard by: Danimal

Posted on August 9, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Books & Writing, Christianity, Church, Dads, Default, Education, Fears, Fordham, Friends, God Squad, Guys, History & Geography, Idiots, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, NYU, Rich people, Stupidity, Sweat, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I Prefer to Think of It As “Orange Alert Level”

Thug #1: I got pain in my legs and arthritis in my balls.
Thug #2: Damn, you fucked, nigga!
Thug #1: That’s some category 10 pain!

–White Castle, 36th St & 8th

Overheard by: Only in category three pain

Posted on August 8, 2014
Balls, Body Parts, Default, Friends, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Thugs, Words

Sadly, He’s Packing a Puck

Guy #1: Oh man, Alexa is so hot. Sucks that she has a boyfriend.
Guy #2: Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? Just because there is a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.

–42nd & 8th

Posted on August 7, 2014
Advice, Friends, Infidelity, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Sex, Sports

Yet I Still Woke Up in Puke

Guy #1: Ah man, last night was a tough one!
Guy #2: Another one of your famous drunken nights?
Guy #1: No. Another one of my not-so-famous sober nights.

–East Village

Posted on August 6, 2014
Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

When Words Lose Their Meaning

Old Friend #1: I can’t believe how long it’s been!
Old Friend #2: Me either. What do you do now?
Old Friend #1: Workin’ down at the docks.
Old Friend #2: You ever see old so-and-so?
Old Friend #1: Yeah, I used to see him all the time once in a while.

–F Train

Posted on August 6, 2014
Friends, On the Subway, Words

Alcohol-arious!

Woman #1: Have you ever been to this place?
Woman #2: Yeah, Irish bar. You know those motherfuckers can drink.
Woman #3: You can say that again.
Woman #1: I don’t usually hang out in Irish bars. Too rowdy for me.
Woman #3: C’mon on, you’ll like it. Besides, the bartender is cute.
Woman #2: This chick I know fucked him but he is lousy in the sack. The only reason she banged him was because he’s good-looking and she gets free drinks.
Woman #1: Too bad the good-looking ones are always dumb and suck. If he’s that good-looking I’d fuck him too. Drinks in this fucking city are expensive as hell. Why not? Let’s see what your friend is talking about.

–44th & 8th

Posted on August 5, 2014
Beauty, Bimbettes, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Sex, Talking/Convos

Booby Trap

Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.

–Houston & Lafayette

Posted on August 4, 2014
Beauty, Boob Job, Friends, Horny, Little Italy, Rack

That’s What We’re All Talking About

Middle-aged man: So they say to me, ‘Ken, just because you have that gun on us doesn’t make you any better than us’.
Friend: Um, yeah.
Middle-aged man: And I said to them, ‘That’s what I’m talking about, man, that’s what I’m talking about!’

–Delancey St.

Overheard by: cityrag.com

Posted on August 3, 2014
Anger Management, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Friends, Lower East Side, Men, Talking/Convos, Terrorism

Friends