Guy #1: Ah man, last night was a tough one!
Guy #2: Another one of your famous drunken nights?
Guy #1: No. Another one of my not-so-famous sober nights.
–East Village
Guy #1: Ah man, last night was a tough one!
Guy #2: Another one of your famous drunken nights?
Guy #1: No. Another one of my not-so-famous sober nights.
–East Village
Old Friend #1: I can’t believe how long it’s been!
Old Friend #2: Me either. What do you do now?
Old Friend #1: Workin’ down at the docks.
Old Friend #2: You ever see old so-and-so?
Old Friend #1: Yeah, I used to see him all the time once in a while.
–F Train
Woman #1: Have you ever been to this place?
Woman #2: Yeah, Irish bar. You know those motherfuckers can drink.
Woman #3: You can say that again.
Woman #1: I don’t usually hang out in Irish bars. Too rowdy for me.
Woman #3: C’mon on, you’ll like it. Besides, the bartender is cute.
Woman #2: This chick I know fucked him but he is lousy in the sack. The only reason she banged him was because he’s good-looking and she gets free drinks.
Woman #1: Too bad the good-looking ones are always dumb and suck. If he’s that good-looking I’d fuck him too. Drinks in this fucking city are expensive as hell. Why not? Let’s see what your friend is talking about.
–44th & 8th
Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
Middle-aged man: So they say to me, ‘Ken, just because you have that gun on us doesn’t make you any better than us’.
Friend: Um, yeah.
Middle-aged man: And I said to them, ‘That’s what I’m talking about, man, that’s what I’m talking about!’
–Delancey St.
Overheard by: cityrag.com
Girl: What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple?
Guy: What?
Girl: A pimple waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face.
–Greenwich St., Financial District
Tough-looking guy to tough-looking friend: Manhattan is all about shitpiles.
— Manhattan
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.
—Style Court Audience
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she’s still a virgin because she’s only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.
–New York Public Library, 40th & 5th
Overheard by: Renee Rogers
Man #1: They’re just a bunch of high-class lowlifes.
Man #2: Yeah, and I’m one of them!
–D’Agastino’s, 26th St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
