Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?
Weird boy: No, I forgot.
Weird girl: That’s the second time!
Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again!
–D train
Overheard by: Kaela
Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?
Weird boy: No, I forgot.
Weird girl: That’s the second time!
Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again!
–D train
Overheard by: Kaela
Girl #1: Remember at that party when that stripper picked up a dollar bill with her pussy lips?
Girl #2: Ohhh, yeah — that wasn’t a stripper. That was a full-on whore.
–77th & 1st
Overheard by: mjg
Headline by: clink
Runners-Up:
· “… and It Wasn’t a Dollar Bill. That Was a Full-on Penis” – Caro
· “America DOES Have Talent” – Staci Lynn
· “Because I Saw That Thing Give Change” – nicky c.
· “But We Call Her Aunt Gladys” – Mark Paul
· “I Was Just Shocked She Did It through Her Jeans.” – SAtCW
· “Kind Of Like the Difference Between Maury Povich and Springer” – alana landa
Waitress's friend: You doin' somethin' different with your hair? You got a glow about you.
Waitress, whispering but audible by everyone around: I'm on the rag, yo!
–Garden Grill, Graham Ave
Overheard by: digamma
Woman with strong Southern accent: I am gonna have her bachelorette party in my apartment next weekend.
Husband: (nods)
Woman: But the goddamn stripper won't return my phone calls.
(waitress brings shots)
Woman: What is this?
Waitress: Tequila, on us.
Woman: This'll put hair on my boobies.
Husband's friends: That's just how he likes it.
Husband: (nods)
–Brother Jimmy's BBQ, Upper West Side
Teen girl to friend: We should, like, totally go out after this.
Friend: But we're not slutty enough to go to a bar.
Teen girl: Ooh! How about a sushi restaurant?
–LIRR
Overheard by: slut for sushi
Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants?
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants!
–81st & Roosevelt Ave
Overheard by: Jobee
Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on?
–8th & Broadway
Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform.
–Times Square Shuttle Station
Overheard by: Heather
Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Shira
Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train?
–W. Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jon A.
Blonde #1: So, in the morning I had my STD test, then in the afternoon I had therapy, and then I had a haircut in the evening.
Blonde #2: Perfect. You cleansed your mind and body.
–10th & Washington
Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can’t kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia.
–Express, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: I would have to agree
Girl #1: My shit is green.
Girl #2: That’s cuz you’re a vegan!
Girl #1: Bitch, I shit money!
–Central Park
Blond girl: So how are things with you and the boy?
Redheaded friend: I'm so happy I could shit a puppy!
–G Train
Overheard by: Rachel
