Woman: Oh, yeah, you know — like how Taco Bell had that Ebola virus outbreak.
Friends: Oh, right…
–Queens-bound R train
Overheard by: Nikki W
Woman: Oh, yeah, you know — like how Taco Bell had that Ebola virus outbreak.
Friends: Oh, right…
–Queens-bound R train
Overheard by: Nikki W
20-something girl: It's made just from the hair of Russian virgins.
20-something female friend: That's gross. It's like they're sacrificing them or something. And what–are they, like, children?
20-something girl: Well, maybe just the hair is virgin, like it's never been dyed.
–Columbus Circle
Unfortunate-looking guy: …and I met this girl there so I'm pretty excited to go back.
Female friend: Is she blind?
Unfortunate-looking guy: No, she's actually a brunette and she's got freckles.
Female friend: No, I asked you if she was blind.
Unfortunate-looking guy: I missed you so much.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy #1: Dude, I really want crab salad.
Guy #2: Okay.
Guy #1: I really want some crab salad. It’s only five forty-nine per pound here! I think Im going to get a pound. I really want crab salad.
Guy #2: Dude, why don’t you just eat out Ada?
–Deli, Broadway between 10th & 11th
Overheard by: tina t lin
Woman on cell: Oh, and by the way, I called my mother to thank her. (pause) No, I said, "Mom, I'm calling on behalf of me and the girls to thank you very much." (longer pause) Well, she can just go fuck herself then.
–90th & Amsterdam Ave
Man on cell: You know a guy really likes a girl when he takes her home to meet his mom…and you know what, Sheila? You ain't never gonna meet my mom.
–South Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smfd
Female college student to friend: We really need to cougarize your mom.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Oh really
Guy: So, hey, my mom didn't die today.
–W 26th & 8th
Overheard by: Katie_AK
Girl sneaking into open conductor's room in front of the train: Next stop, your mother's asshole! Stand clear of the closing cheeks!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Adriana
Handbag seller on street corner: Yo! Tell yo mama I got her bag right here!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Taryn
Girl on cell: Yeah, I'm bussin' it for now, my mom's on this thing that I have to show her responsibility… I know, it's like I get up in the morning, I haven't gotten arrested in a while, and I have a job, what more do you want from me?
–Seguine Ave & Waterbury, Staten Island
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
Young man #1: Do you want to play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: Do you play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: REALLY?????? You don’t play ping pong?????
–N. 11th St, Williamsburg
Chick #1: I think he beats her, you know.
Chick #2: No!
Chick #1: Yeah. But that’s just, like, how boys get out their frustration.
–Central Park
50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Funky Monkey
Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!
–2nd Ave & 9th
Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!
–Times Square
Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?
–Astor Place
Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!
–Babies"R"Us, Union Square
Overheard by: miziz
Girl #1: So this is the man you want to marry?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: And you said there were how many maggots on the turkey?
–3rd & B
