Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
Construction supervisor on cell: No, I didn’t know he was gay! That’s why I got rid of him. I had to find out the hard way.
–Evergreen Diner, W 46th St
Overheard by: Emilio Lizardo
Crazy guy: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Homosexuality! Heh heh heh.
–53rd Street station
Guy on cell: No, I’m waiting for the ferry…No, not him; the boat that goes into the city.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Overheard by: Chris Cotterman
Girl: She said she wasn’t attracted to me! I mean, I’m straight as a goat, but…am I ugly?
–R train
Overheard by: Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian
Middle-aged guy: You know, somebody needs to tell gay men that they’re not 17 year old girls.
–David Barton Gym, 23rd Street
Queer: For God’s sake, be creative. We’re gay!
–West Elm, 18th Street
Woman on cell: It’s really gay outside right now.
–Bowery & 4th
Dude: I thought I saw Matt Damon; then I realized it was just a gay guy.
–Barrow Street
Crazy guy: And what do gay people do with the money they save on child support? The parade! They pay for the parade.
–53rd Street station
Girl: What I really want is a guy who is kind of skinny and almost homosexual.
Fat male passerby: I can be that guy!
–14th & 2nd
Headline by: h
Runners-Up:
· “But One Who Isn’t a Scientologist and Didn’t Star in the “Mission Impossible” Movies” – Hostrauser
· “Drew Carey Believes He’s a Hipster.” – Stephalee
· “I Can Be Seven Of That Guy” – Belvedere Jones
· “I’m Not Skinny, but I’m All the Way Homosexual–it Balances Out.” – KarenD
· “It Was Rosie O’Donnell” – Jess K.
Man: …it just leads me to wonder which corner is more queer: the corner of Seaman and Seaman or the corner of Gay and Christopher.
–Dallas BBQ, W. 72nd Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!
–Broadway & Prince
Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?
–Fordham Plaza
Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?
–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone
Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.
–E Train
Overheard by: Giggling at crack
Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alfie
Ghetto girl: What's wrong wit you?
Hoodlum: Yo, I already told you I was bisexual!
–McClellan St & Sheridan Ave
Overheard by: South Bronx Beat Cop
Queer: Excuse me, ma’am?
Chick: Yes?
Queer: Um, girl, it’s time for some new Uggs. I felt it was my gift to society to tell you.
Chick: Dude, put your fag card down and start worrying about something else.
–Spring & Mercer
Little boy: You can’t tell.
Mom: Yes, you can sense it. It’s called gaydar.
–Central Park
Gay #1: Oh em gee, the cashier is like üober-hot.
Gay #2: I know, right?
(they both look at the cashier)
Gay #1: Sucks he’s a total straighty.
Gay #2: Well, at least he has a nice ass.
Gay #1: Yeah, I guess.
–Union Square American Eagle
Overheard by: Figs
