Haggard 40-something guy to girl passing by: Mmm-hmmm! That's the way I like 'em. Tiny and nice and tight. Look at that body, damn. Mmm-hmm. Hey, girl! Hey, gorgeous, how old are you?
Annoyed girl: I'm 14.
Haggard #40-something guy: Damn! That'll get me 25 years… Damn!
–3rd St, Havemeyer
Overheard by: One of 8 who witnessed this
Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!
–NYU Hayden Staircase
Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza
Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!
–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St
Overheard by: Cassie
20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.
–Chipotle, 51st & 8th
Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.
–Near Holland Tunnel
Overheard by: Claire H.
Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!
–6th & Ave A
Overheard by: Kremilyse
30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?
–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool
Girl #1: …it was so disgusting.
Girl #2: Oh my god, I can’t believe you got sexually-harrassed by a three year old.
–Park Slope
20-something girl to mom: If I had a million dollars, I would spend 90% of my time watching tv, or doing nothing, like playing on the computer.
Mom: See? That is the type of attitude we need to talk about, you should want something!
20-something girl: Okay, I will read books.
Mom: (sighs)
–Penn Station
Overheard by: amazed by ignorance
Cell phone chick: So if you upgrade to this new plan for $10 more a month, we’ll give you a totally free phone. $0, free of charge. All you have to do is mail in a $50 rebate form.
Woman: Wait, I thought it was free.
Cell phone chick: It is, you just pay me $50, and then send in the rebate form and they’ll mail you a $50 check.
Woman: Wait, but it’s not free? My husband will kill me if I spend
money on a new phone. What’s 50 minus 50?…I went to Syracuse University, I’m a college educated person, and I’m still confused. Is it free?
–Verizon, 34th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Jordan the Intern
Hobo to one-legged girl walking by: Damn you're sexy, even without that leg!
Bag lady: He wants you to fuck him with your nub.
–Thompkins Square Park
Girl #1: I bought him white eyelashes and white lipstick but I don’t know how much he’s willing to let me put on him.
Girl #2: Does he do drag?
Girl #1: Well, he used to; when he lived in San Francisco, back when he danced. But he did it more for the kink than anything else.
–Rockefeller Center
Girl: Can I get a pack of Camels, please?
Cashier guy: Sure…Need a lighter?
Girl: No, thanks.
Cashier guy: Matches?
Girl: I’m all set.
Cashier guy: Receipt?
Girl: No.
Cashier guy: A bag?
Girl: Can I get the fuck out of your store, please?
–Duane Reade, 53rd & 8th
Older woman: Smoking is a sin!
Young pretty girl, looking perturbed: Yeah? (takes a long drag) So is being ugly.
–54th & 3rd
Overheard by: LeatherJacket
Girl #1: How's this look? Does it make me look fat? Like super obese fat?
Girl #2: You are fat. So, uhhh…yeah, sorta.
Girl #1: Let's get some cupcakes.
–92nd & 3rd
