Blonde: Look, that guy in the gray sweater is the only one working here.
Brunette: I know! It's terrible.
Blonde: I wish the government would come by and look at this, and see all these people waiting. We should call them.
Brunette: Do you think they care?
Blonde: No.
–Social Security Office, 2nd Ave
Girl: I'm not going to pretend that things are fine when they are not. You don't have feelings for me.
Guy: Don't say I don't have feelings. I have feelings for you, they are just in a different category.
–59th St & Lexington
Greenpeace guy: Hey, sign this petition!
Girl in black: No, thanks.
Greenpeace guy: It's to save the Earth!
Girl in black: Fuck the Earth.
Greenpeace guy: But what about the children?
Girl in black: Fuck the children.
–7th Ave & 25th
Overheard by: NSC
Drunk girl to group of friends: And then he slapped my ass, and I was like, “I need to walk away.”
Drunk girl's friend: Why?
Drunk girl: I mean, it was fine for him to play with the fuzzy things on my nipples, but I draw the line at an ass grab.
–E 9th St & Ave A
Overheard by: sternie
Leather jacket guy to girl: I need to make the water.
Girl: What does that even mean?
Leather jacket guy: I need to pee.
Girl: That's gross.
Leather jacket guy: I need to make warm water. It's 98.6 degrees.
–36th & 5th
Overheard by: i'm suddenly thirsty.
Asian girl #1: Which college do you want to attend?
Asian girl #2: I want to be like common people and go to BMCC.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lucie
Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain."
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Raven
Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not!
–8th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: stephie
Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day!
–Stuyvesant High School
Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'?
–LIRR
Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: me neither
Asian girl: A tranny spat and peed on me last night… so I guess I'm okay.
–Screaming MiMi's Boutique
Overheard by: Nancy
Gay guy, after woman bumps into him: Did you just step on my vagina?
–A Train
College boy: So then I woke up and realized I was next to a tranny…
–Manhattan College
"Girl" sitting at the door: My panties are too small to hold my dick in.
–Williamsburg
Catholic school girl, carrying large backpack, to friend: I'm looking forward to leaving this bathroom a guy. A very effeminate guy, but still a guy.
–Bathroom, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Innocent Bathroom-goer
Girl #1: She's lucky I only got to stomp on her face once.
Girl #2: (nods)
Girl #1: I wanna round two. And I'm pregnant.
–34th St & 7th Ave
