Wednesday One-Liners Are Dimmer Than a Flintstones Night Light

Gay guy to friend: I may be gay but I’m not stupid.

–The Flame Diner, 58th St & 9th Ave

Woman to man: But they were only stopping the dumbasses… That’s why they stopped your dumb ass.

–W 66th St & Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

(Blonde is having trouble hailing cab during rush hour)
Gypsy cab driver in town car: No one will take you cuz you’re stupid!

–116th & Broadway

20-something guy to girl: It’s eleven and it will take you till one to get home, then I’ll call you and tell you how stupid you are.

–4th St Subway Station

Overheard by: Glad I’m not dating him

Girl: Alexis, we’ve been over this. You’re stupid.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Crosby

Bimbette, yelling into cell: Yo! Look who you’re talking to–I’m not exactly the smartest person in the world!

–Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: dumb as a rock

Posted on July 27, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Public Transportation, Queer guys, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

I Need to Leverage Your Sexuality to Explore My Own

Guy: … And you know, I could be, like, the dude that videotapes it.
Chick: I told you already, I don’t even like girls!
Guy: Yeah, well, I’d kind of like it better if you did.

–6th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: voidoid

Posted on July 26, 2020
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Porn, Sexuality, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

Wait– Do We Know How to Sew?

Pretty girl to friends: Oh, wait! They have a section for sewing supplies!
Friend: They have an actual sewing supply section here?
Pretty girl: Yeah, it's as big as my dick, but they have one.

–Duane Reade

Posted on July 25, 2020
Compare/Contrast, Duane Reade, Friends, Girls, Height, Penis

Figures Don't Lie

Girl: How long since we broke up is it okay for my ex to start having sex?
Guy: Who broke up with who?
Girl: I broke up with him last week. He slept with four girls since.
Guy: I think if you broke up with him, it's okay for him.
Girl: Damn, cause I only slept with one guy since. But I did cheat on him with three guys, so we're even.

–21st St

Overheard by: learning something new everyday

Posted on July 23, 2020
Breaking Up, Girls, Guys, Infidelity, Promiscuity, Questions, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Time

Then Pay Me a Dollar Not to Clean It

Hobo: Hey, can I clean the snow off your car for a dollar?
Girl cleaning car: Ummm, no way.
Hobo: Even when it’s cold white people are assholes.
Girl cleaning car, to passerby: I don’t want his smelly ass touching my baby.

–115th St & Frederick Douglass Blvd

Overheard by: Paula

Posted on July 21, 2020
Assholes, Biotechs, Girls, Hobos, Insults, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Upper East Side, Weather

Is It Too Late to Apologize for Mooning You?

Black girl #1: Damn, girl! You're hairy! I dunno if it's cause I'm light-skinned, you're hairy!
Black girl #2: Thanks. Thanks… (walks away)
Black girl #1: You're like a werewolf!

–H&M Dressing Room, Queens Center Mall

Overheard by: hoping shes not a werewolf too…

Posted on July 18, 2020
Black People, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Hair, Physical appearance, Queens, Store, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

Populated by Ignorant Yet Stylish Tourists?

Girl to friend: I don't even know what Morocco's like.
Friend: Well, they filmed Sex and the City 2 there–that's what it's like!

–M15 Bus

Overheard by: AMC

Posted on July 13, 2020
Bus, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Movies, On the Bus

Can I Interest You in Some Sausage?

Drunk girl to random sober guy: Bacon! My hands are like bacon!
Sober guy: What are you, drunk?
Drunk girl: Just very, very, very hungry.
Sober guy: Proceed.

–NYU

Posted on July 8, 2020
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Girls, Guys, NYU

Queequeg the Tampooner Thought Otherwise

Roomie #1: Why is this non-slip grip on the new tampon ads such a big deal? When do I really need some super non-slip grip sport tampon?
Roomie #2: You know, when you’re under water.
Roomie #1: Under water?! I am not the Little Mermaid!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: a confused roomate #3

Posted on July 6, 2020
Fordham, Girls, Gripes

Yeah, but Jesus Loves Everyone

College girl #1: He loves you.
College girl #2: Don’t say that!
College girl #1: Why not?
College girl #2: Because I have horrible self-esteem!

–7 train

Overheard by: Phillip Roncoroni

Posted on July 3, 2020
Girls, Gripes, On the Subway

Girls