Girls

Girl #1 in a rush, slamming door and almost hitting other girls: Oh my god, I'm so sorry!
Girl #2: It's okay…
Girl #3, sarcastically: Oh yeah, it's totally okay. Actually, why don't you open the door harder next time?

–Restroom, 54th St & Ave of the Americas

Overheard by: Ilikecandy

Dude: Is this a petting zoo sort of thing?
Chick: No. It’s a dog park sort of thing.

–Union Square dog park

Overheard by: tanechka

Guy: So, Rob slept with that trailer trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-looking one. You don’t think she looks like total trailer trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trailer trash oozing out of her fucking pores!
Guy: So why were you talking to her half the night?
Girl: Whatever. She was really nice.

–Terrace table, Blue Water Grill, Union Square

Overheard by: ebizzle

Chick: Why is level two on the third floor? Why isn’t there a ‘Floor Two’?
Guy: I dunno, hon.
Chick: Isn’t that weird, though?
Guy, as elevator goes up halfway: I think this is the second floor. It’s a secret level.

–AirTrain elevator, JFK

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more people can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surfing.
Girl #1: It just sucks being squeezed in like this. Especially when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are going to do.
Girl #1: –and people won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t understand that you have to get off. This time I’m going to be like, “Bitches, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just trying to find one thing about this that doesn’t suck and I’ve got nothing.
Guy: Me either.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so annoying to be forced to be so close to so many people in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is really annoying, especially when you are forced to hear someone else’s conversation.
Guy: Whoa! What timing.

–L train

Drunk girl #1: Yo, I have coke in my boob.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah, right, you so don’t. [Drunk girl #1 shows boob] Holy shit, you do!

–Brooklyn-bound 2 train

Overheard by: horny

Chick to friends: Where should we go for my birthday drinks?
Drunk chick, passing by: I want to go to your birthday drinks!
Chick: Um, I don't know you.
Drunk chick: But you wanna know me! (proceeds to vomit)

–42nd St & 10th Ave

Girl #1: So I guess oily skin isn't a bad thing.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: It makes you look young.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Have you ever seen a 75-year-old with a shiny face??

–M16 Bus

NYU boy: Hey, Adam Duritz from Counting Crows is outside Hayden on his cell phone!
NYU girl: Uh, well.. I almost got killed by a fucking snow globe!

–Washington Square West

Guy: What about a trampoline?
Girl: Nah, it was more fun in a shopping cart.

–5th & Broadway