How Much Is That Wednesday One-Liner in the Window?

Man eating brunch to male friend: We both came out seven years ago. We are puppy gay in dog years.

–Big Daddy’s Diner

Overheard by: Morgan

Very loving mom talking to daughter about her son: Hey! He is not an animal, he is not a dog. Well, at least not today!

–Hell’s Kitchen

Outraged woman to man: What? No! Do not put the dog in the furnace, Ted!

–Court Street

Chick with cigarette, on cell: … Leathery fetish dog-masks, or just Halloween style dog-masks?

–Outside Tagine, 40th & 9th

Overheard by: Ladle

Philosophical suit: The only reason I haven’t divorced my wife is because of the dog.

–Upper East Side

Posted on April 29, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, S&M, Smokers & Smoking, Suits, Time, Upper East Side, We Love Our Pets, Weirdness, Women

If I Said You Were Black Like Aunt Jemima, Would You Find That Offensive?

Large man: Girl… You is white.
Pale girl: No, I'm not.
Large man: No. You is white. Like Shirley Temple or Betty Crocker, or somethin.

–D Train

Overheard by: Tiffany Schleigh

Posted on April 26, 2020
About Celebrities, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Fat People, Girls, Men, On the Subway, Race

NewsFlash: Hipster Is Copycat. Film at 11

Artsy girl: I cant believe you took my idea!
Bearded hipster boy: My cat died and so I can use it my way.
Artsy girl: But now everyone thinks it was your idea to skin the cat! And it was mine! Next thing you know, you'll be plucking the feathers out of birds and dipping them in blood!
Bearded hipster boy: Good idea, I think I will.
Artsy girl: Cunt!

–Outside Cooper Union School

Overheard by: jemma lower

Posted on April 23, 2020
Birds, Blood & bleeding, Death, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, School, Weirdness

Lois Commutes between Adoration and Homicidal Rage

Black woman, to eight-year-old white girl: I love the white people. You are so cute. I would babysit you. Come here.
White woman: Yes, give the little white girl a hug.
Black woman, to girl: If anyone fucks with you, I’m gonna be fucking with them.

–47th & 8th

Overheard by: alxie

Posted on April 15, 2020
Beauty, Black People, Default, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Race, Street, Threats, Violence, Weirdness, White People, Women

We So Had That Idea First

Girl on computer #10: Damn, this dumb bitch wants to start her own prostituting company.
Girl on computer #9: What a dumb bitch.

–Library, Baruch College

Overheard by: jackieisawuesome

Posted on April 15, 2020
College, Default, Girls, Insults, Library, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Prostitution

Which Some of the Barnard Girls Fail to Pass

Columbia boy: That’s the library, right?
Barnard girl: Yeah, but it’s just for girls. They do a muff-check at the door.

–Barnard College

Posted on April 11, 2020
Boys, Columbia (& Barnard), Default, Gender issues, Girls, Private Parts, Questions, Students

It’s All About the Facial Hair

Girl: But also Chuck Norris.
Guy: Well, that’s a given.
Girl: I know, I just like saying his name.
Guy: Gives you a little rush?
Girl: You don’t know the half of it.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Michelle

Posted on April 10, 2020
About Celebrities, Girls, Guys, The Village

And Clay Aiken-Gay, Not Oscar Wilde-Gay

Foreigner: What was with those guys in Brokeback Mountain? Are all cowboys dumb?
Girl: They weren’t dumb, they were gay.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Sara McGrath

Posted on April 3, 2020
Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Idiots, Movies, Questions, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Feel a Lot Better Now

Guy to friends: A girl farted on my head once, and I dated her for three years.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: MC

Woman to friend: And then he farted in my mouth.

–Ding Dong Lounge

Overheard by: Rosalind

Hobo, farting loudly, turning at girl walking behind him: That's for you, you fucking bitch!

–Yellow Line Subway Station

Overheard by: Craigalanche

Latina on cell, firmly: I'm not bi-curious, I'm just fart-curious

–49th & 5th

Overheard by: olga

Crazy hobo: Once, I was eating Cracker Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I finished the box, I farted in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week later, I got the surprise of my life!

–1 Train

Overheard by: nella

Posted on April 2, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Crazies, Dating, Farting & Burping, Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

It's Only Travel If You're Going Somewhere Humans Live

Girl #1: Okay, but I don't want to be out too late tonight because I have to travel tomorrow.
Girl #2: You do *not* have to *travel* tomorrow…you have to get on a bus to Atlantic City tomorrow.

–E 19th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Silent J

Posted on March 31, 2020
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Public Transportation, Travel