Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: That's too bad. I don't like to stroll; I like to have a destination.
Caregiver lady pushing wheelchair: Where would you like to go, then?
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: Bed!
–Prospect Park
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: That's too bad. I don't like to stroll; I like to have a destination.
Caregiver lady pushing wheelchair: Where would you like to go, then?
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: Bed!
–Prospect Park
Male hipster: I was all excited for Central Park, you know, and then I remembered: I've seen trees before.
–Central Park
Tourist, looking at souvenir photos of Central Park: You never realize how… central it is.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Xanthias
Tourist, looking down at map: Wait a second, guys, I can't find Central Park.
–Penn Station
Overdressed, overly made-up girl: The thing I don't like about Central Park is that it's too much like a forest.
–Central Park
Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex?
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex.
–1 train
Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her.
–96th St station
Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting?
–Sushi restaurant, Soho
Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with.
–E 61st & Lex
Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin.
–E 23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again.
–Leon M. Goldstein High
Overheard by: Hand-banana
Dad to four-year-old son: Okay, this is our stop.
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
Dad: What?
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
–1 Train
Overheard by: RAF
Yunnie girl #1: I hate the subway. You know, I've been fucked on the subway. Twice, actually.
Yunnie girl #2: Huh?
Yunnie girl #1: What–you mean you've never had sex on the subway?
–6 Train
Driver: I fuckin' hate that building. Ugliest fuckin' building I ever seen. It looks like a bong or a toilet or somethin'. I'd shit on that building.
Passenger, under his breath: Jesus Christ, man, just drive the car.
–3rd Ave
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Man: I need a job.
Woman: I need a lot of things. I need a boyfriend, I need more money, I need a tan, and I need to lose 30 pounds
Man: Yeah… I just need a job.
–57th & Madison
Hobo #1: Stop playing your fucking drum, I hear it all the way over here.
Hobo #2: I was here first, motherfucker!
Hobo #3: You guys, why can't you just play together?
Hobo #2: Nah, fuck you man! Stay out of it!
Hobo #3: You should die. You gonna die. Tonight!
Hobo #2: Are you threatening me, man?
Hobo #3 (laughing): Nah, man, I'm just a shoe shiner, but you're seriously gonna die.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Highstein
Bus driver on intercom as it starts to rain: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey… C’mon, everybody!
Entire bus, singing: You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you — please don’t take my sunshine away.
Chick: I think that was the least-New York moment of my entire life.
–M79 bus
Girl #1: I know! I’m always losing mine!
Girl #2: It’s a good thing, though, you know, how they come in packs… ‘Cause you can just buy a whole pack.
Girl #1: Doesn’t it suck when you go to the bathroom in a restaurant and you can’t pull it out with your fingers?
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. Totally.
–Fountain at Lincoln Center
Overheard by: what the hell are they talking about??
