Guy: So you smoke for social reasons? I don't get it.
Girl: You know, I do it so that I can go out and talk to others. I only do it when I'm wanting to spend time with people.
Guy: I still don't get it.
Girl: It's just what I do when I want to spend some time with my friends.
Guy: Oh, so like how cocaine is for me?
Girl: Yeah! Kind of like that.
–1 Train
Ghetto girl to group of friends: And I was just like "Oh my god! No, she didn't! Not with that nose!"
–C Train
Guy: You could fry an egg on her stomach.
–Union Square Green Market
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Indian cougar: I just like the feeling of a nice hard young male body.
–Bowery St
Overheard by: Dj bj
Woman showing pictures on camera: And this is da one where I'm givin' him da deaf eyes…
–West Village
Overheard by: Cass
Woman on cell: Never once have I opened my legs to anyone… besides you.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Matt Martin
Teen to friend: They said it wouldn't be fair for me to fight her cause she ain't got no fingers.
–Outside Erasmus High School
Smoking guy: Yeah, well, fuck you!
Woman walking away: No, fuck you!
Smoking guy: Yeah, who do you work for?
Woman, still walking: You know who I work for? Your dick!
–2nd Ave & 62nd St
Guy: I guess that's just the science of diarrhea…
Girl: (nods)
–N Train
Guy in bar: My ex-girlfriend from college is now on that reality show Rock of Love 2.
Group of friends: Wow, really?
Guy in bar: Yeah… I'm the reason she told Brett Michaels that she never had “all the way” sex.
–4th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: BenRC
Guy #1: I really, really hate that guy.
Guy #2: But he's been dead for years.
Guy #1: Yeah, I know. I wish he were alive so I could wish he were dead.
–2nd Ave
Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.
–Central Park West
Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.
–UCB Theater
Overheard by: Robert
Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!
–Fort Greene
Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.
–3 Train
Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rick
Guy #1: Owwww! Fuck! Owwwwwwwww!
Guy #2: You won't get an ice cream headache if you drink it slower.
Guy #1: I'm trying, but it's too delicious!
–9th St. & 3rd Ave
Guy #1: So the entrance to my apartment is on the other side. This side is a Pilates studio. Guess who comes here all the time.
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: Woody Allen and his wife.
Guy #2: His wife?
Guy #1: Yeah, you know… his daughter.
–76th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Echo
20-something girl: We need to get cards so we can play Kings.
20-something guy: Yeah, Kings!
Guido, passing by: Cards? I'll astonish you with my tricks.
–79th St & Amsterdam
