Wednesday One-Liners Wanna See You Sweat!

Guy in courtyard, doing pelvic thrusts: Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and…

–NYU Dorm

Girl to friends: Yeah, after he stopped doing yoga it all went downhill…

–East Village

Guy on cell, screaming: I'm a machine! I'm unstoppable! Who goes out till four in the morning and then destroys a triathlon the next day? I'm a machine!

–91st St & York Ave

50-something yoga instructor: Bring attention to your reproductive organs, squeeze them as hard as you can, and release. Let them go, let them hang loose.

–Yoga Studio

Overheard by: Puff

Conductor: I was watching the winter Olympics speed skating and I got to thinking about the summer Olympics. A New Yorker should win the 100 meter dash. All they have to do is put an open train door at the end of the track and start the race with "boop boop." You know that New Yorker is going to win the gold. Ya'll have a good day now.

–A Train

Overheard by: Commuter #1,792,824

Posted on August 4, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Fitness, Friends, Girls, Guys, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Private Parts, Public Transportation, Sports, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yoga

John Lennon: “All You Need Is Wednesday One-Liner”

Guy on cell: Well, I love you. Hit that little Jewish kid in the back of the head, and I love you.

–St. Mark's

Guy to girl: Yeah, yeah, totally. I love turning nouns into verbs.

–Grahm Ave & Conseleya

Overheard by: Minna

Girlfriend to boyfriend: I love it when you goat me.

–95th St & Broadway

Overheard by: John

Staples manager to coworker: I love these staples!

–Staples Store

Overheard by: venniblue

Guy to girlfriend: Reacharound equals love.

–11th St & 3rd Ave

Posted on August 4, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Bosses, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Love, Lower East Side, On Cell, One-liners, Race, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Words

Um, Actually I'm Being Honest.

Man selling comedy tickets: Hey! You guys look like you would enjoy some comedy and free drinks.
20-something man: No, I hate all of those things.
Man selling comedy tickets: Jeez, you don't have to be so sarcastic.

–42nd & 8th

Overheard by: Comediphile

Posted on August 3, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Free stuff!, Gripes, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Strangers, Theater & Dance, Vendors & Street Performers

Sounds Like a Hipster to Us.

Guy in khakis, watching hipster: I'm totally more of a hipster than her.
Friend: No, you're not.
Guy in khakis: I am! You don't know what I'm like outside. I just turn it off for work. I've got a ton of tattoos…
Friend: No, you don't. Your mom would kill you.
Guy in khakis, hanging head: No, I don't. My mom would kill me.

–Fordham Law School

Posted on August 3, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Fordham, Friends, Guys, Murder, Parents, Physical appearance, Tattoos

Doesn't It Go Against the Nature Of an Animal to Keep It Tethered?

Dude to hippie chick walking cat on leash: Yo, that's a funny looking dog you got there.
Hippie chick walking cat: That's 'cause he's a cat.
Dude: Why you walkin' a cat down the street in New York City?
Hippie chick walking cat: Cause back in Colorado, he was indoor-outdoor, and now that we've moved out here for a while I just can't keep him inside. But I can't let him roam free on the streets, so I take him for walks. I love him too much to keep cooped up. It, like, goes against the nature of an animal to keep him inside and not let him experience the world outside and not let him meet other animals and other people.
Dude, amazed: Marry me.

–12th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Yeah, I like weird chicks too

Posted on July 30, 2010
Gay Man's Best Friend, Guys, Hippies, Love, Man's Best Friend, Marriage, Union Square and East Village

But My Wrench Keeps Getting Stuck in Her Undercarriage

Girl, holding guy's hand: Are you dating anyone?
Guy: No.
Girl: I thought you were…
Guy: I have an ex.
Girl: Oh, okay.
Guy: That I've tinkered with for about a month…

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Chris K.

Posted on July 28, 2010
Dating, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Williamsburg

Wednesday One-Liners Treat Women and Men the Same

Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?

–School of Visual Arts

Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?

–Lower East Side

College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.

–LIRR

Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.

–Union Square

Overheard by: alib

Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?

–177th St & Broadway

Posted on July 28, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Asshole, Backdoor, Compare/Contrast, Fashion, Film, Friends, Girls, Guys, Lower East Side, One-liners, Penis, Poop, Questions, School, Sorority Girls, Students, Suits, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Should You Shave Your Wednesday One-Liners? Discuss.

Guy on cell, to girlfriend: I have such a headache in my balls right now.

–49th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Very drunk boyfriend to drunk girlfriend: If you can't stay here, talk to me and make this right! I'm gonna have to be a man, grow some balls and leave you!

–140th St & Broadway

Man on crowded sidewalk: Balls to butts, people. Balls to butts.

–Times Square

Girl to friends: I'd totally teabag him, but I don't got no balls.

–Brooklyn Heights