Guys

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Playin'

Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.

–106th & Amsterdam

Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.

–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rahstah

Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!

–69th & Lexington

Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger

Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.

–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn

Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Overheard by: James

All Ten Seasons of Friends, in a Nutshell

Guy: Rachel! You're so stupid!
Rachel: I'm not stupid! I'm just sexy.

–5th Ave

But Did They Have to Name It “The Chubby Cubby”?

Dude #1: So maybe it is a chubby chaser bar… I mean, that's nothing to laugh at, it's only people expressing their heartfelt desires in a safe place.
Dude #2: Yeah, I guess so.

–Essex & Rivington, Lower East Side

The Subtle Difference Between Being a Lawyer and Being an I-Banker

Dude #1: You know, you're a real dick.
Dude #2: (nods)
Dude #1: But you're a dick like an asshole, not a dick like a cock.
Dude #2: Yeah?

–7 Train

Overheard by: Dan

Then Everybody Launched Into the “Kit-Kat” Song

(woman walks into packed theater looking for boyfriend)
Woman, yelling: Jim*? Jim, where are you?
Random guy in the audience #1: Here!
Random guy #2: Over here!
Random guy #3: Here!
(entire theater starts shouting “here!”)
Woman: C'mon, gimme a break.

–Imax Theater

Overheard by: Goober

Like That It's Possible to Get Thin by Eating Chocolate?

Guy giving out Kellogg's Special K chocolate bars: Free cereal bars! Free cereal bars!
Hobo (to Kellogg's guy): Hey, why isn't anyone giving me any money? They all be paying attention to you!
Kellogg's guy: Because I'm giving out free candy. You're giving out lies.

–Outside Penn Station

So…Distinguished-Sounding

Guy #1: The Caribbean? I would never move down there man. I mean you got all those hurricanes and shit.
Guy #2: You crazy man, you know Chi Chi Rodriguez lives down there?
Guy #1: Chi Chi lives down there?
Guy #2: Hells yeah, and you know it, with a name like Chi Chi you can’t go wrong.
Guy #1: (nods in agreement)

–Bank Line, 50th & 3rd

Overheard by: luigimen

As John Stossel Explained, in That Completely Balanced Report

Drunk guy to friend: Everybody knows that if you're a Boy Scout in the Midwest, you're a fucking asshole.
Friend: I know.

–43rd St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Joey

And Watch Pop-Up Videos

Homeless druggie chick: I'm waaay smarter than you!
Homeless druggie dude: No way, I'm crazy smart and shit.
Homeless druggie chick: Well, I know tons of shit that you don't, like that Manhattan is the only city in America that doesn't have a Main Street, and that mosquitoes have 47 teeth!
Homeless druggie dude (very impressed): Daaamn you are smart! How did you know that?!
Homeless druggie chick: I read Snapple caps, bitch!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kiki

A Muscle Shirt With Holes? The Jury's Reached a Verdict

Latina hipster: He loved my hair!
Latino hipster: They was all faggots. It was fags that loved your hair.
Latina: He didn't sound gay. And he had holes in his shirt.
Latino: Was he wearing polyester?
Latina: No.
Latino: See?

–A Train

Overheard by: Drew

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