Respectably sober hipster: So, I’m interested, what is your ethnicity?
Inebriated Asian girl: Actually, I’m drunk!
–The Levee, N3 & Berry
Overheard by: zp
Respectably sober hipster: So, I’m interested, what is your ethnicity?
Inebriated Asian girl: Actually, I’m drunk!
–The Levee, N3 & Berry
Overheard by: zp
Douchebag trying to get on an over-crowded train: Move in!
Annoyed lady: There’s no more room!
Glib red-headed chick: It’s a subway, not a clown car!
–4 Train
Chick: My tongue was in somebody’s ass? Whose ass?
Dude: I dunno. That’s just what they said…
–92nd & 3rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: BillyBlog
NJ guy #1: So right after I left my parents house I met up with the hooker, best use of birthday money ever.
NJ guy #2: But you’re underage, that’s like illegal!
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: Stewart Lane
Young Guy, trying to hit on a girl: I’ve been thinking about starting a blog.
Girl: [silence.]Young Guy: You know, if I were to start a blog, I’d make it about t-shirts.
Girl: [silence.]
–Magnetic Field (Bar) on Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Dude: You should’ve seen how pissed she was when I finally told her that I lied and wasn’t really gay.
Girl: You should’ve removed all the knives, pills and nooses from the house after that one.
Dude: I’m not stupid: I didn’t tell her in person!
–29th & 10th
Guy: Yeah, he has this obsession with white weasels. It’s just very New York, you know?
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Kate
White Girl: I’m leaving this city, it’s all just bed bugs and bad drugs.
–Queensboro Plaza
Overheard by: Zach
Prudish waitress, to another: In New York, you just come to expect cock-on-cock, ass-on-ass talk… In DC, you don’t.
–1 Train
Student to friend: You play the paranoid freak, I will play the egomaniac. We will call it "New York".
–49th & 1st
Thug #1 to Thug #2, while observing typical, plain, Midwest vacationing family getting off a tour bus: Get back on that bus! This New York! You can’t handle this shit! [Teenage kids smile. The father, absolutely horrified, grabs the kids and throws them back on the bus.]
–42nd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Bunk Moreland
Big bald guy: No, no, you don’t have to be ordained to marry people at the show. Just put on the Pope robe if you want to marry people.
–Office Building, Hudson St
Guy: I took your advice, bro. I’m gonna marry her in a little over three weeks. But… I gotta get drunk first.
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: erin
Suit #1 to suit #2: Well, maybe she won’t sign the pre-nup and then you’ll be free.
–Wall Street
Black chick: No! No! Ain’t no one gettin’ lynched at my wedding!
–Food Dimensions, Myrtle & Broadway
Overheard by: off white
Woman on cell: The only time he gets to be himself is when he goes away and that’s the way he saves the marriage… Otherwise it’s "Mommy, I don’t feel well’ and ‘Mommy, may I be excused from the table."
–23rd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Mugsy’s Moll
Goth chick on phone: He proposed to me while he was in me… Yea, well, I mean he told me after that he really meant it!
–Penn Station
Random guy, singing loudly: Leeeesbian seagull!
–South Street Sea Port
Overheard by: Ger-Man in New York
Thug: Shit! I have to get my teacher a present. Its so hard. She’s like butch… You know what I’m saying? Shes got short hair and don’t wear earrings -like that chick [points to a woman who can obviously hear the conversation and looks affronted.] Yeah lady, you like the pussy!
–F Train
Drunk girl: You wanna know why I’m a lesbian? When I was crawling out of my mothers vagina I tasted that shit. And that shit was good. I just had to keep going back for more.
–Odessa’s, Ave A
Overheard by: Dannia Alfonso
Hardcore lesbian tourist #1 to hardcore lesbian tourist #2: Hey! Beaver Street! Let’s eat down there.
–Beaver St , Hanover Square
Overheard by: WallStGuy
Black teen punk girl, arguing with boyfriend: No, I’m gonna go become a lesbian now. Big. Huge. Les. Bo.
–V Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Buff guy: But now they’ll know I’m a lesbian.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Colleen
Homeless man: Eliot Spitzer for President!… Make the White House the whorehouse!
–Battery Park
NYU guy: So my friend who works for Eliot Spitzer called me the other day and asked me to ask his roommate to delete all his emails. He didn’t say why, but then about two hours later I found out about the whole prostitute thing… And now I’m a little worried.
–NYU Bus
AmNY newspaper guy, handing out papers with Eliot Spitzer’s picture on the front page: $80,000 for a ho, and we can’t get a raise!
–Outside 33rd St Station, 33rd & Park
Crazy guy, speeding on a bicycle through a crowd: Don’t even think about it people! I gotta make a party at Spitzer’s in ten minutes!
–43rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Dan J
Old lady: Why, if I were young like you, I could be a call-girl to scum-of-the-earth Spitzer!
–Laundromat, 34th St, Long Island City
