Guy on cell: There was Laura Ingalls and the mean one… What was her name?
Passerby: Nellie!
–Entrance, A Train
Overheard by: TRUE
Guy on cell: There was Laura Ingalls and the mean one… What was her name?
Passerby: Nellie!
–Entrance, A Train
Overheard by: TRUE
Girl: He says that she is his soulmate. Is he fucking kidding me?
Guy: She is a semen-gurgling road whore.
–Subway Inn, 60th St, UES
Gay guy: I’m going to the movies tonight.
Male friend: Yeah? To see what?
Gay guy: Men.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Wish I was going, too
Guy #1: Man, do you think *Jane is hot?
Guy #2: I mean she’s smart, but I wouldn’t say she’s hot. Why do you think she’s into you?
Guy #1: Well, I think that she thinks I’m arrogant, but I’m not. It just comes off that way because I’m really insecure, my confidence is all fake.
Guy #3: Hey, I think that girl is listening to us… And she’s laughing.
Guy #1: Anyway… Can we please talk about my insecurities for a while, we never talk about me.
–Metro North
Overheard by: texting her friend the whole convo
Drunk dude #1: He has a total hair fetish.
Drunk dude #2: How do you know?
Drunk dude #1: Remember Kathy?
Drunk dude #3: The whore?
Drunk dude #1: Yeah. Well, he asked her how much it’d be to rub her hair on his balls, and she said $50.
–49th & 8th
Overheard by: Jordan
Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: ALR
Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes.
–Long Island Railroad
Overheard by: Chris K.
Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Summer
Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun.
–40th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ledbetter
Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole?
–A Train
Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait.
–45 & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Comack
Tisch guy #1: I haven’t used it yet, how is it?
Tisch guy #2: It’s so cool, you can use it on a guy or a girl. The results are great.
Tisch girl: Ooooh! You can use it on a girl, I never even thought to try that.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: yakyak
Girl: I don’t think he is mature enough for me.
Guy: He doesn’t wear pants! And you know, if he’s claustrophobic putting his legs into pants… You see where I’m going with this?
–Broadway & 49th
Pretentious hipster: So where are you ethnically from?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Well, I know that, but are you from Bangladesh, Pakistan, or India?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Ohhh, you’re Native American.
Indian girl: I’ll take that drink now.
–Welcome to the Johnsons Bar, Lower East Side
Overheard by: blondie
Tourist #1: Guys… The floor is sparkling!
Tourist #2: Ooooooooooh!!!
–Times Square
