Drunk Girl: I’m really glad you made it out tonight.
Sober Guy: I’m really glad you’re going home.
He closes her cab door and walks away.
–Bleecker St.
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Drunk Girl: I’m really glad you made it out tonight.
Sober Guy: I’m really glad you’re going home.
He closes her cab door and walks away.
–Bleecker St.
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Bro #1: Hey man, you alright?
Bro #2: (vomits in corner)
Bro #1: You good to drive?
Bro #2, slurring: Yeah…
Bro #1: You got some shit on your chin! (makes wiping motion)
–East Village
Overheard by: arf
Guy: Now, you know I want Tarzan the Musical to be a giant flop, but…
–54th & Broadway
Ghetto teen, watching Sutton Foster sing “You’ve Got Possibilities” from It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman!, the musical: Maybe these crackers be famous, but it’s Broadway. This shit sucks.
–Central Park
Overheard by: warren freeman
Tourist chick, on cell: On Wednesday, we’re going to see The Directors…The Directors…The Directors. C’mon, you know, The Directors! Oh, I mean The Producers!
–Sidestreet Saloon, Staten Island
Overheard by: Johnny Drongo
Guy drinking beer at 7 am, yelling: Hey! Is that a fried banana? Is that a fried banana?!
Girl, eating: No.
Guy: Oh, it's just a regular banana?
Girl: It's a cinnamon bun.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Samantha Chalek
Merchant Marine guy #1: Did you hear that there are like 75 swiss cheese deaths a year?
Merchant Marine guy #2: What? What do you mean?
Merchant Marine guy #1: It’s really rare, but sometimes there is a chemical reaction and the cheese blows up in people’s stomachs.
Merchant Marine guy #2: That has to be the worst death ever.
Merchant Marine guy #1: Or the best if the guy really loves cheese.
–LIRR
Guy #1: Aw, man, she’s like a 4×4, comfortable and fast! And those curves, shit.
Guy #2: She’s seventeen.
Guy #1: Right on!
Guy #2: My shit is real, yo.
–1 train
Guy on cell: That's the good thing about abortions–you can have like three a day.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Ghetto dude: I told her, I was like "if you get pregnant you best get an abortion, cause I ain't helping you with that shit." I mean, I would help her, but I gotta get that shit in her head.
–N Train
Overheard by: Jill
30-something woman to boyfriend: There be some muthafuckas up in here who think this shit some form of birth control. I'm woman enough; I gave birth to six kids. I ain't doin' it again.
–Abortion Clinic, Queens
Crazy guy on subway, preaching: You know why there's 100 million Mexicans in America? Abortion!
–W Train
New Yorker guy: You know that summer camp I went to? My friend is now the head of it and I’m going to help him out next month.
Girl, laughing: Awww, you’re going to teach the kiddies how to canoe and tie slip knots?
New Yorker guy: No, I’m gonna teach them about the Holocaust.
Girl (laughs then pauses): Wow, that is not what we did at Girl Scout camp in Wisconsin.
–6th Ave & 19th St
Girl #1: We're waiting for a friend and then we're going to take the train home.
Guy: Oh, where do you live?
Girl #1: Westchester.
Girl #2: Dammit *Britney*, stop telling people that!
–49th b/w 8th & 9th
(drunk group of 20-somethings stumble out of a bar onto the street)
Unstable random lady: Alcoholic! You need to go to Alcoholics Anonymous!
Drunk guy: Dude, just mind your own business.
Unstable random lady: Don't call me dude! I'll call the cops on you!
–W 3rd & Thompson
