36-year-old bald clubster: There's no way you're 36. I'm 36, and there's just no way.
36-year-old woman: No! Really, I am.
36-year-old bald clubster: What did you do–make a deal with the devil?
36-year-old woman: We've talked.
–Union Square
Overheard by: birdie
Tall, gorgeous girl to much shorter, uglier boyfriend: Why do you need to know were I was last night? I thought you said our relationship was all about trust!
Boyfriend: I'm your boyfriend! I have a right to know where you were and who you were with!
(as they stop walking and argue loudly, a small crowd begins to gather)
Tall girl: Do you thing I was cheating? Why would you think that? You're the one that said you're the only one that will ever love me!
(crowd boos boyfriend)
Boyfriend: I am the only man that will ever love you!
Random guy in crowd: I love you!
Boyfriend: You love me?
Random guy: No you douchebag, your girlfriend!
–Broadway & Wall St.
Guy: I could be an astronaut.
Girl: You have to be like really really smart to be an astronaut, you have to have like a doctoral in engineering and a doctoral in space…
–Javitz Center
Older woman: Mice grow up to be rats. I have mice.
Older guy: No, they don't!
Older woman: Yes they do, mice grow up to be rats.
Older guy: No, they don't! They're different species. They're cousins.
Older woman: No, they aren't!
Older guy: Yes, they are–they're cousins, like rabbits and squirrels.
Older woman: No–mice grow up to be rats!
Older guy: No, they don't! There are even different species of rats. German rats,
Norwegian rats…
Older woman: Okay, let's change the subject–I hate rats.
Older guy: Do you know pigeons have strokes?
Older woman: What?
Older guy: Pigeons have strokes. They don't last long, but they do.
Older woman: Uh…okay.
Older guy: Pigeons learn to fly when they're five weeks old.
–A Train
Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.
–4th & Lafayette
Overheard by: andy
Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?
–Times Square
Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."
–NY Comic Con
Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.
–Fordham Law School
Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.
–1st Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Will
Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.
–Whole Foods, Chelsea
Overheard by: Hunter (aka,
Guy: And so then he threw up, right on like the flag of the American Jesus…
(girl nods her head)
–Entrance, Queens College
Guy #1: Do you want to go here or Houlihan’s?
Guy #2: I went to Houlihan’s and it smelled like butthole.
Guy #1: Okay.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Clarktadd
Club dude: May I ask you why you’re licking your handstamp?
Drunk teen guy: I wasn’t. They stamped me twice, and I had something in my tongue.
–The Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!
–M-15 Bus
Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.
–28th & 29th
Overheard by: A black person from Chicago
20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Annie B
Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?
–Rite-Aid
Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: molls
Foreign girl: How is your puffy friend?
American guy: What?
Foreign girl: You know, the puffy! (hold out her hands to indicate fatness)
American guy: Oh, yeah, he's good.
–89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Tom
