Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Backdoor, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cops, Coworkers, Dating, Drugs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Money’s Not Great, but I’m Doing What I Love

Lady: Oh my god! Can you stop pushing?! That is so rude!
Hipster who pushed onto train: Get used to it. I’ll be doing this all week.

–6 train

Overheard by: used to it

Posted on October 10, 2014
Comebacks, Gripes, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Time, Women

The Hipster Progression, Step 19: Embracing the Grateful Dead before Your Friends Do

Hipster: It smells like acid rain.

–Smith St. Carroll Gardens

Posted on October 9, 2014
Brooklyn, Hipsters, Sensory Experiences, Weather, Weirdness

…That Was You?

Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone.
Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them.
Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like “eewwwww”.
Hipster guy #1: Ewww.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: What the hell were they talking about?

Posted on October 7, 2014
Brooklyn, Fighting and ass kicking, Hipsters, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Sensory Experiences

Shhh. Can’t You Feel This Cup of Gin Vibrating?

Hipster: Drunk people are like dinosaurs.
Friend: What the fuck are you talking about?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on October 4, 2014
Hipsters, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Yeahhh, Definitely Seventh Avenue. Definitely.

Hipster mom: How much further are we going?
Five-year-old savant son: Well, it’s the weekend so the G train is making all the local F stops. That means six more stations from Hoyt-Schermerhorn — Jay Street-Borough Hall, Bergen Street, Carroll Street, Smith and Ninth Streets, Fourth Avenue and Seventh Avenue.

–G train

Overheard by: He even pronounced them correctly

Posted on October 3, 2014
Hipsters, Kids, Moms, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Time, Weirdness

I’m Gonna Win Every Hipster Fight!

Black hipster #1: Oh my god! These jeans are sick! They’re lime green and making my eyeballs hurt!
Black hipster #2: Oooh, oooh, show me!
Black hipster #1, exiting dressing room: Man, my dick hurts ’cause they so tight! But daaamn… I look good!

–American Apparel

Posted on October 3, 2014
Black People, Clothing, Compliments, Default, Friends, Hipsters, Store

It’s Now a Prerequisite for the Program

Hipster boy: There is an art party to benefit the Whitney Independent Study Program tonight! I’m totes going.
Hipster girl: I applied and didn’t get in to the Whitney Program, but this guy who took my anal virginity did.

–Prospect Park

Posted on October 3, 2014
Backdoor, Brooklyn, Education, Hipsters

And Those Fat Earthworm Things Don’t Comb Over Well

Black hipster #1: Hey, remember ugly-ass Anthony from back in high school? I saw him on the R train the other day.
Black hipster #2: Does he still look like the Predator?
Black hipster #1: Yeah, but with male pattern baldness.

–Union Square

Posted on September 29, 2014
Hipsters, Insults, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday H1N1-Liners

Sick girl: I probably don't have swine flu…but I was in Brooklyn last night.

–90th St & Lexington

Overheard by: UESider

Woman on cell: What's with this pig virus thing going around? It's killing people in Mexico, Europe, here in Queens… (pause) Do that many people eat bacon?

–55th & Madison

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

High school student, watching overheated and smoking car: What the fuck is this shit?! Dat nigga's muffler got dat swine flu!

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: Ben

Hipster guy on cell: Oh, your enthusiasm is just like the swine flu!

–22nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: BL

Amateur rapper, walking down street: If you got the swine flu, bitch, stay outta my hood! Cause the sun it is shinin' and I'm feelin' so good.

–188th St & Washington Ave

Hipster guy: Abby is a total germophobe. She was like, "what have you eaten lately?" and I was like, "a raw pig from Mexico. Is that bad?"

–76th St & 3rd Ave