Old lady, tapping girl on the back: Girl! Get off the curb!
Preppy JAP: Uh, excuse me?
Old lady: Do you live in New York?
Preppy JAP: Um…yeah?
Old lady: Then get off the curb, and get off your fucking cell phone!
–1 Ave & E 84th St
Old lady, tapping girl on the back: Girl! Get off the curb!
Preppy JAP: Uh, excuse me?
Old lady: Do you live in New York?
Preppy JAP: Um…yeah?
Old lady: Then get off the curb, and get off your fucking cell phone!
–1 Ave & E 84th St
Suit on Bluetooth headset: You just lie on the ground and squeal like a pig!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Justin
Chick on cell: A theatrical fashion show of people in assless pleather chaps and pig masks…
–W 26th St b/w 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster chick: I love bulldogs; they're like little alien piglets.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Sorority girl, walking dog, to friend: Didn't you have a pig you could squeeze and make poop come out?
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Professor: Your mother is a pigfucker. Now, I hope you don't all go home and cry because I said that.
–Brooklyn College
Guy on cell: I'm walking to my room from breakfast. Then I'm going to take a dump. Then I'm going downstairs.
–Hallway, Marriott Courtyard Hotel
Barista walking in, to no one in particular: Unfortunately, I'm here.
–Starbucks, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Robert
Lost tourist: We are stuck here in the middle of Times Square!
–Rockefeller Center
NYU girl on phone: Hello? No. No, I can't meet you. Because I'm lost. I'm lost in the West Village. You know how the streets there get weird? I have no idea where I am. I've been wandering around for hours and I don't know if I'll ever make it back, ever! No, don't try to find me, I haven't seen any street signs in ages. Okay, see you tomorrow…maybe not.
–Union Square
Loud black drag queen yelling into cell: Bitch, don't play with me! I know where you at!
(pause) Where you at?
–34th St & 8th Ave
Girl to guy: And then he cheated on me with his male and female cousin.
–9th & 21st, Chelsea
Guy on phone: You should tell him next time he should keep his dick in his sister.
–72nd & Central Park West
Guido, getting his hair cut, in a thick Staten Island accent: Show me where it says in the Holy Bible that you can't bang your stepsister.
–Staten Island Barber Shop
Overheard by: Snewsboy
Dude on cell: Bitch, I don't care how much you give me, your ass just ain't worth it. (pause) Plus, I can just get it for free from my sister.
–Coffee Shop, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: really hope he didn't mean what i thought…
Girl to mother, after game: I'd rather go down on my sister than take the d train to Times Square right now.
–Old Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: datura0001
Girl #1: That's a cute dress. Are you going to wear it with leggings.
Girl #2: I don't own leggings.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: Because I'm not an asshole.
–Penn Station
Musical theater chick: But I thought I was going to plan your 30th birthday party!
Guy: You can't just go around sleeping with Australian fitness directors and then expect to plan my party.
Musical theater chick: But I thought I was going to plan it!
Guy: You're not planning shiiiiiit.
–F Train
Overheard by: JP
Girl (calmly): She's been having mood swings lately.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (calmly): Mood swings.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (angry): Mood swings, you ass bag!
–E Train
Overheard by: Jillian
Woman with migraine: Help me! I'm dying! I'm dying!
Triage nurse: Alright ma'am, just calm down and tell me what the problem is.
Woman with migraine: I'm fucking dying, what are you, stupid?
Triage nurse: Well, as soon as you develop some signs or symptoms other than being obnoxious, we'll talk.
–NYU Medical Center ER
Overheard by: Turn their ankles
Guy in stall, as Coldplay's “Viva La Vida” begins to play: Hello? Yeah, what's up? Nothing, just takin' a dump. Taking a dump. Okay, I'll call you later.
Guy in next stall: Fuckin' Coldplay? How gay are you?
Guy in stall: Fuck you, dude!
–TGI Friday's, 5th Ave
Guy: So Russia invaded Georgia this morning.
Ditzy girlfriend: Get the fuck out! My aunt lives in Atlanta!
–84th & Broadway
Overheard by: mark
