Girl #1: That's a cute dress. Are you going to wear it with leggings.
Girl #2: I don't own leggings.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: Because I'm not an asshole.
–Penn Station
Girl #1: That's a cute dress. Are you going to wear it with leggings.
Girl #2: I don't own leggings.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: Because I'm not an asshole.
–Penn Station
Musical theater chick: But I thought I was going to plan your 30th birthday party!
Guy: You can't just go around sleeping with Australian fitness directors and then expect to plan my party.
Musical theater chick: But I thought I was going to plan it!
Guy: You're not planning shiiiiiit.
–F Train
Overheard by: JP
Girl (calmly): She's been having mood swings lately.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (calmly): Mood swings.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (angry): Mood swings, you ass bag!
–E Train
Overheard by: Jillian
Woman with migraine: Help me! I'm dying! I'm dying!
Triage nurse: Alright ma'am, just calm down and tell me what the problem is.
Woman with migraine: I'm fucking dying, what are you, stupid?
Triage nurse: Well, as soon as you develop some signs or symptoms other than being obnoxious, we'll talk.
–NYU Medical Center ER
Overheard by: Turn their ankles
Guy in stall, as Coldplay's “Viva La Vida” begins to play: Hello? Yeah, what's up? Nothing, just takin' a dump. Taking a dump. Okay, I'll call you later.
Guy in next stall: Fuckin' Coldplay? How gay are you?
Guy in stall: Fuck you, dude!
–TGI Friday's, 5th Ave
Guy: So Russia invaded Georgia this morning.
Ditzy girlfriend: Get the fuck out! My aunt lives in Atlanta!
–84th & Broadway
Overheard by: mark
(group of socialites-in-training exit cab)
Yuppie with dark round glasses: Here's your tip, cabbie.
Cabbie: Oh, great.
Yuppie: Well, fuck you very much.
Cabbie, driving off: Screw you, Harry Potter!
–Canal & Orchard St
Overheard by: Jynx
Guy holding unlit cigarette: Hey, got a light?
Woman exiting building: You're standing outside a cancer hospital, asshole.
–York Ave & E 67th St
Overheard by: quitalongtimeago
Guy #1: Wait, so they make oranges out of meat?
Guy #2: No, they just call that part “the meat of the fruit.” There's no actual meat involved.
Guy #1: That's retarded! Who comes up with this shit?
Guy #2: I guess the people who grow the shit.
–Mott & Canal
Conductor #1: We are sorry for the delay, there is a stalled e train at 7th Avenue. We will be going uptown on the…uhm…which line are we going on?
Conductor #2 (exasperated): I have no fucking clue.
(train laughs)
–E Train
Overheard by: So how am i getting home?
