To Be Fair, What NYC Grade Schooler Needs to Know Accurate Barnyard Noises?

Latino grade school girl #1: Yeah man, and then they act like they don't know when we be hating, cause they gotta act like that, and then they say we be racist and we ain't racist, you're just a dumb white bitch.
Latino grade school girl #2: Yeah, and then they say we racist.
Latino grade school girl #1: She just don't wanna say nothing to me die-reckt-ly cause she knows she'll get hurt.
Latino grade school girl #2: Say it to my face!
Latino grade school girl #1: Yeah, that's what I say, say it to my face! She just chicken.
Latino grade school girl #2: Yeah, she just chicken.
Latino grade school girl #1: Ha ha! Chicken head!
Latino grade school girl #2: Haha, yeaaaaaah girl, chicken head! Quack quack!

–Old Navy Dressing Room, 6th Ave

Overheard by: NoChildLeftBehindDoesntWork

Posted on November 16, 2009
Gripes, Insults, Latinos, Race, Store, Students, Stupidity

Men's Conversation Only Fills the Empty Hours Until the Next Blowjob

Girl to loser boyfriend: You wonder why we have all these problems? It's like, no matter what I say, everything goes in one ear and out the other with you.
Loser boyfriend: Nah babe, I listen to everything you say.
Girl: No, you don't–it's like I'm speaking another language…
Loser boyfriend: What do you mean “another language”?
Girl, getting upset: Nothing fuckin registers in that head of yours. We have all this shit to deal with because you don't know what the fuck I say. You say you listen but you just don't register nothing. Like I'm speaking another language or some shit!
Loser boyfriend, looking at another girl: So… what are you sayin'?

–South Ferry

Posted on November 15, 2009
Boyfriends, Ferry, Girlfriends, Insults, Language Barrier, Relationships, Words

Ten Bucks Says This Is Their Foreplay

Girl: Shopping with you is like shopping with an old man.
Guy: Shopping with you is like shopping with a bitch.

–Modern Foods, The Bronx

Posted on November 13, 2009
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Insults, Shopping, The Bronx

Some People Get Way Too Invested in The Real World

Older woman: She's still a butthead for moving out so soon.
Girl: Grandma, she had a baby!
Older woman: I don't care.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: JEI

Posted on November 12, 2009
Brooklyn, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, Kids, Old People, Women

Raise Your Hand If You're Gonna Start Using That

Woman on bus: Hey, when are we gonna leave here–Christmas?
Driver: Lady, hold on.
Man on bus: He's probably watchin' porn.
Woman on bus: Yeah, stop beatin' your meat.
Driver: I'm waiting for my supervisor to give me the go-ahead.
Woman: Well, I'm gonna miss the ferry, so tell your stupidvisor I don't want to miss the ferry.
Driver: Did you just call him a stupidvisor?

–Chamber St. Shuttle to South Ferry

Overheard by: Jon

Posted on November 10, 2009
Bus Drivers, Insults, On the Bus, Passengers, Porn, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Time, Wishes & desires

And Those Are Just for My Baby!

Lady to cashier: Can you front me a slice 'til I get my check?
Cashier: Sorry, no.
Lady: C'mon, man. I come here all the time.
Cashier: Yeah, so?
Lady: Man, you suck. You don't know what it's like. I have to buy Pampers and food and crack.

–Pizzeria, Harlem

Overheard by: Rufio

Posted on November 9, 2009
Cashiers, Customers, Hard Drugs, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Offers and requests, Pizza, Restaurants & Cafes, Shopping

Tracy Chapman's Been Saying That Since 1988

Bag lady to white guy whistling “When the Saints Go Marching In”: Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm… Ummm… sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!

–L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man

Posted on November 7, 2009
Bag ladies, Crazy, Girls, Guys, Insults, On the Subway, Singing, White People

New Yorkers Aren't Impressed When You Put on the Dog

Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!

–The Diner Restaurant, Midtown

Posted on November 6, 2009
Baristas, Clothing, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Insults, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Restaurants & Cafes

It's Like He Thinks We Don't Need Silk Garbage Bags

Upper West Side wife #1: He thinks I can operate this household on $25,000 a month–that bastard better get a better job.
Upper West Side wife #2: Yeah, really, he needs to get his shit together.

–83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Mike