Chinese woman, sobbing to her husband: [Furious, angry Chinese] PSP! [More angry Chinese]Dominican kid, walking by: Yeah! PSP!
–Forsyth & Broome
Overheard by: Peter
Chinese woman, sobbing to her husband: [Furious, angry Chinese] PSP! [More angry Chinese]Dominican kid, walking by: Yeah! PSP!
–Forsyth & Broome
Overheard by: Peter
Woman #1: That bad, huh?
Woman #2: And he stutters. I just want to smack him over the head. Spit it out!
–Bensonhurst
Middle-aged Man: “you know how people all over the world, chinese, african, whatever, they look different”
Middle-aged woman: “”well no matter where you go the chickens of the world, they look the same, ever thought about that”
Middle-aged Man: “I wonder if they speak the same language?”
— McDonald’s, by the corner of Houston & Hudson
In a coffeeshop in Los Angeles (the Novel cafe in Santa Monica), a tutor is giving a beginning Spanish lesson to a student at the table next to me. The student is reading a newspaper article in Spanish, and then translating each sentence word by word:
Student: “I don’t know what this word, ‘decada’ means”
Teacher: “What do you think it means?”
Student: “I don’t know”
Teacher: “Guess.”
Student: “I really don’t know”
Teacher: “Here’s a hint. It’s very similar to an English word”
Student: “‘Decada’? Deca….. I have no idea”
Teacher: “It’s almost identical to the English word”
Student: “uhhhhh”
Teacher: “There’s only one letter difference”
Student: “deca….?”
Teacher: “C’mon, what do you think?”
Student: “I really have no idea”
(Teacher pinches her on the nose!)
Teacher: “It’s Decade!!!”
Student: “Ahhhhh!!!! Okay! I feel stupid!”
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario!
–Carmine St.
Latina mother to Asian man, quickly and in Spanish: I'm going to 82nd Street, do I have to get off to switch to a local train?
Asian man: What?
Latina mother, astonished and in perfect English: You don't speak Spanish?
–7 Train
Heavily accented barista: Vat can I get forrr you?
Customer: I'll have a tall, iced, nonfat latte…I like your accent. Are you from Brazil?
Heavily accented barista: No, I'm from Bulgaria.
Customer: Oh. Is that near Brazil?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: *smacks forehead with hand*
Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.
–Central Park West
Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.
–UCB Theater
Overheard by: Robert
Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!
–Fort Greene
Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.
–3 Train
Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rick
(white guy says long phrase in Chinese to Asian girl)
Asian girl, annoyed: I am not even Chinese!
–Brooklyn
Tween boy, interrupting conversation with German girl: Wait! Do you live near the autobahn?
German girl: What?
Tween boy: The autobahn. It's like the parkway!
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
