Teen boy #1: I make the best scrambled eggs!
Teen boy #2: Nah son, I make the best eggs.
Teen boy #1: Ok, but when you eat my eggs… mmm… it’s like eating pussy.
Teen boy #2: Whoa! You crossed the line there.
–97th & Central Park W
Overheard by: SEK
Guy #1: I think you just stepped in pee, there.
Guy #2: Ew.
Guy #1: I think it was human.
Guy #2: Ew. It was kind of greenish.
Guy #1: Maybe it was antifreeze. Don’t lick your shoe or anything. Not that you should if it was pee, I mean.
–26th & 2nd
Woman #1: My principal says you can get French lessons as an iPod.
Woman #2: An “iPod”?
Woman #1: Yeah…they’re about 15 minutes long, they come on your computer, and they’re free.
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Wait, I mean a podcast.
Woman #2: “Podcast”? Sounds like it comes from aliens.
–Patisserie Claude, West 4th Street
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Guy: What flavor should I get?
Drunk girl: I’d get butter pecan but I’m lactose intolerant and it’d make me shit like a champ.
–Bodega, Houston & 6th
Drunk chick: Why am I so drunk?!
Cabbie: Because you drink a lot!
–10th Ave
Overheard by: i don’t drink a lot
Old lady: Hey, you know what time it is? You got a face so pretty, I swear I’ll have to cut you if you don’t tell me what time it is.
Guy: Five thirty.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Romanoff
Little girl: Will I have big mountain nungas like you someday?
Big sister: Only hillocks, I fear.
–58th & 6th
Overheard by: EAK
Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson SUCKS!
Tweenie boy #2: Well, did you hear his music when he was black?
Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson was black?!
–Central Park
Overheard by: nas
Teen boy: “Romanian”? What’s that, Italian?
–N train
Little Boy, running towards pigeon on sidewalk: RAWWWWWR!
Mother: Sweetie, they’re not afraid here. This is New York.
–39th & 3rd
Overheard by: erin
