Wednesday One-Liners Think ‘Un’ Is Also a Kind of Faithful

Ghetto guy: She know she got a man, but she’ll still gimme some. She know that!

–7 train

Young woman, screaming at young man: I dare you to fuck someone else again! I dare you!… You better not fuck anyone else! You better not!

–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station, Brooklyn

Queer on cell: Since when has your gaping hole decided to be faithful to your boyfriend?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Keith

Walking VD: When I first met you seven months ago I was kinda in another relationship. But now that that’s over, wanna get back in bed?

–32nd & 7th

Cop: So I’m fucking his wife for 6 years, and now he complains!

–238th & Broadway

Overheard by: Miriam

Posted on August 23, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Brooklyn, Cops, Dating, Hook Ups, Infidelity, Manhattan, Marriage, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Penn Station, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Private Parts, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Bronx, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Women

Plus, He’s Not That Good in Bed, as You Know

Woman #1: It’s his second wedding, and he’s having one hundred and fifty people.
Woman #2: Wow, I don’t even think I had that many at my first wedding.
Young woman, toasting: To the asshole.
Woman #2: Oh, come on, your father is not an asshole.
Young woman: Fine.
Woman #2: He’s a schmuck.

–15th & 3rd

Overheard by: Anna

Posted on August 11, 2006
Family Ties, Friends, Insults, Marriage, Murray Hill and Gramercy

Oh, Just Like You Bringing Me to Orgasm?

Texan mom: It says here that the French gave this statue as a gift.
Texan dad: Ain’t no way France coulda sent that. They ain’t got no boat big enough.
Texan mom: But it says here…
Texan dad: Ain’t possible means ain’t possible. Gittit?

–Liberty Island

Overheard by: Colman

Posted on August 5, 2006
Foreigners, Gifts, History & Geography, Marriage, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, People, Rednecks, Sex & Relationships, Southerners, Statue of Liberty, Topics, Tourism, Tourist Attractions, Tourists, Venues

A Lot of People Call Her Apartment the Harlem of the Upper East Side

Woman #1: Yeah, I tell ya, my baby’s daddy has been the biggest jerk in the world lately.
Woman #2: Will you stop calling him that! He’s your husband. You married him like 5 years ago.

–Au Bon Pain

Overheard by: K

Posted on August 3, 2006
Marriage, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

Now He’s Planning to Trade the Woman and the Magazines For the House

Clerk: 20 copies [of ELLE Decor]?
Older man: My Hamptons house is on the cover.
Younger woman: Actually, it’s not his house anymore.
Older man: It’s my ex-wife’s.
Younger woman: Yeah, he traded the house for me!

–Magazine shop, Gramercy

Posted on July 30, 2006
Clerks, Couples, Getting Jolie'd, Infidelity, Marriage, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Real Estate

Wednesday One-Liners Tie the Knot

Guy: I have to sleep with her before she gets married.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Alison R.

Girl on cell: It’s marriage, not racism.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Phe

Woman on cell: I want the wedding without the husband. No, really, I want to wear the dress and have a party all about me.

–Bergdorf Goodman

Dude on cell: So she said, “Don’t you want to marry me?” and I was like [shrugging], “Why the fuck not?”

–Central Park, southwest entrance

Girl on cell: I can’t believe you can’t spend three hours to come to my wedding so you can study for the bar exam. I’m your sister! And this is my first wedding, so it’s really important to me.

–N train

Man: If I had known how much work marriage was gonna be, I would’ve said, “Fuck the cow. Give me the milk for free.”

–31st & Ditmars, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Shannon

Supportive friend: Well, they’re past the murder-suicide part of their marriage, so that’s good.

–6th St, between 1st & 2nd

Posted on July 26, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Marriage, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

We’re a Sodomite Youth Group

Woman: My name is Mrs. Williams*, and I am selling stuffed animals for the Happy Family organization. We believe in the sanctity of family and abstinence before marriage.
Queer: You’re talking to the wrong people.
Woman: Oh, you’re college students. I thought you were a Christian youth group or something.

–23rd & 5th

Overheard by: Brian R

Posted on July 17, 2006
Christianity, College, Manhattan, Marriage, Murray Hill and Gramercy, People, Places, Queers, Religion, Sex, Sex & Relationships

Somehow That Whole Process Put Us Out On the Street

Hobo #1: Back in the day, lesbians were forced to get married to men.
Hobo #2: So what happened?
Hobo #1: They got jobs and can afford to have girlfriends.

–53rd & 5th

Overheard by: Victor C.

Posted on July 16, 2006
Gays and Lesbians, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

From the Forthcoming Strom Thurmond Bio-Pic

Husband, to wife: In all eyes I am above you. [God] says you must do everything I say without question. If you weren’t pregnant, I wouldn’t even feed you.

–D train

Overheard by: jason

Posted on July 15, 2006
Couples, Marriage, On the Subway

Memories of the Meth Years

Black lesbian: I’ve been in this neighborhood for so long.
Black gay guy: Mhh-hmmmh.
Black lesbian: Oh man! See that brownstone? Years ago I was invited to a wedding reception there. It was awesome. Beautiful. I was sitting right up front and laughing and crying with the rest of the family, like, I love you ladies! Damn, to this day, I still don’t know how the hell I got there, or who those bitches were.

–Bleecker & Christopher

Overheard by: grrryphon

Posted on June 19, 2006
Black People, Gays and Lesbians, Lesbians, Marriage, Queers, Street, Stupidity, The Village

Marriage