Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Grey-haired middle-aged man on cell: 40 grand for a suck. No… 40 grand, and I’ll suck your dick.
–Fashion District
Man on cell: What about the licking? Did you practice licking? I can’t teach you anything if you don’t practice. You have to practice the licking if you want to do it right.
–78th St & 37th Ave
Overheard by: Jillian
Homeless woman: Everyone on this train eats pussy! Guys, girls, all ya’ll!
–2 train
Overheard by: Macaire
Ghetto dude: Do you see that building? Do you see that building? That’s NYU. It took me 26 years to get my degree there. And what am I doing? Still sucking white dick.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: Jay
Guy on cell: Yeah, man, this chick just gave me a blowjob. She was like, ‘Are you on Restless?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah,’ and then she dropped to her knees!
–2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: wishing i did soaps
Suit on cell: On one hand, you’re married, and I don’t need that kind of drama. On the other hand, you do owe me a blowjob.
–Wall St, 2-3 stop atrium
Overheard by: did he get a receipt?
Dude #1: You have to make a decision — between the girls you want to fuck, the girls you want to kill, and the girls you want to marry.
Dude #2: Yeah…
–East Houston
Crazy old woman: I’ll be back soon. Are you married?
Newsstand guy: Uh… No, I have not married.
Crazy old woman: Would you mind marrying me?
Newsstand guy: Uh… I have not married.
–92nd & Broadway
Overheard by: he was pretty attractive
Chick #1: Yeah, so I kinda wanna go to the wedding, you know, to see the spectacle.
Chick #2: Mm-hmm.
Chick #1: But on the other hand, I don’t want it to seem like she has any friends.
–Q65A bus
Overheard by: christine
Guy on cell: I swear, I told you beforehand. I told you I was married.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Nicole and Caitlin
Five-year-old: Daddy, how come you ask all those women if they’re married?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Woman: I cannot wait ’til the wedding is over so I can go off this fucking diet!
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: jpnyc
Female suit: It’s a funeral, not a wedding, you baboon. Bring your own sandwich.
–59th & 10th
Overheard by: marie
Middle-aged man #1: So you married her, right?
Middle-aged man #2: Yeah, I married her. I married the hell out of her.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Costa
Woman: So, did you hear so-and-so is getting married?
Man: Really? How does her fiancé feel about her being a lesbian?
Woman: She’s not a lesbian.
Man: Really? Does anybody else know that?
–Central Park Reservoir
Overheard by: Jill
Tween boy: Then Tom Cruise and Will Smith get married and have babies.
–74th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Rachel
3 year old: Ahhh, my mouth is on fire! My mouth is on fire! Help me, Tom Cruise!
–89th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex
Man to girlfriend: Shit, I like that Martha Stewart. She a gangsta in disguise.
–Kmart, Astor Place
Guy: He is like the L. Ron Hubbard of Teach for America.
–Lenny’s, 77th & 2nd
Overheard by: Rebecca
Crazy guy: You fuckers don’t deserve to be here! John Lennon died for peace and tolerance! Get the fuck out of here, queers! John died for peace and humanity!
— 72nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: emily
Chick on cell: Yeah, he wouldn’t watch my kid last night because he was hanging out with Wilmer Valderrama.
–1st Ave between 12th & 13th
Hobo: Betty Boop killed Martin Luther King!
–1 train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Man, yelling: I love this woman! I love this woman!
Woman: So where’s the ring?
–51st & 7th
Overheard by: kt
