Man: So he was like, a male prostitute?
Woman: Yeah.
Man: He must have been a pretty good lookin' guy!
–40th St & 7th Ave
Man: So he was like, a male prostitute?
Woman: Yeah.
Man: He must have been a pretty good lookin' guy!
–40th St & 7th Ave
Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Hey, are you interested in a membership?
Man: No, I live in Denmark.
Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Well, we have a location in Paris. That's not too far, right?
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Matt
Man #1: You can’t hesitate with that shit, man. You gotta bang and be out.
Man #2: Yo, you gotta bang and blow.
–111th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: M.G.
30-something #1: What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?
30-something #2: Getting high and masturbating.
30-something #1: Man, married life is great.
–Palladium Gym, NYU
Headline by: Pseudonym
Runners-Up:
· “Because she’s out shopping for a vibrator” – trish
· “He celebrates Palm Sunday the same way” – Kate
· “He’s An Up & Comer” – Rod W
· “Little Johnny took the comeback “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” a little too seriously.” – Cloud
· “When Harry Met Righty” – Vasyl
Black woman: This here is Chelsea. It’s where all the rich homosexuals live.
–18th Street between 7th & 8th
Teenage kid: There are some hot Chinese bitches at this stop, son!
–Fulton Street G station
Overheard by: Thomas Bugarin
Woman: Well, I’m in Soho now…
–Union Square
Overheard by: Davis McDavis
Queer: Oh, I went to Queens once. By accident. I was coming back from La Guardia and the taxi driver said he was taking me on a shortcut.
–Starlight, Avenue A
Overheard by: Lukas
Thug: Next stop: Ghettoville, USA! That’s real America, none of this Japanese-American bullshit. Mmmm…smell that? Smells like the East Village!
–A train
Guy: This is the new Wall Street Times building.
–41st & 8th construction site
Man: See, that’s the one. If I was gonna write it a letter, I would begin, “Dear Ugliest Building in New York City”.
–Westin Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: Kayla Cagan
Guy on cell: Bond Street? It’s north of Houston Street so it’s not in Soho. But I don’t know what the neighborhood is called.
–City Hall Park
Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
–Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?
–Times Square
Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: "If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant."? Seriously!
–Broadway & 103rd St
Overheard by: Amy
Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.
–Outside Trader Joe's, 14th St
Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy–the baby snow monkey–came along. So be careful with your birth control.
–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys
Girl to another: I just don't see why we can't make our own condoms.
–14th St & 4th Ave
Man #1: So was that her?
Man #2, returning from following Tara Reid: That was definitely her.
Man #1: She wasn’t as slutty as I’d hoped.
Man #2: I know. She’s starting to look more and more like Will Ferrell.
–53rd & 5th
Suit: Hey, do you have a light?
Polite Englishman: Sorry, I don’t smoke.
Suit: I asked for a light, not your fucking life story.
–Times Square
Overheard by: English, not polite
Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?
–The Village
Overheard by: Ava
Woman: I think she’s Russian. No wait, I think she is from Tennessee, yeah she’s like this poor girl from Tennessee. So anyways, she goes to the Hamptons… Wait now I remember, she is from Utah; she’s Mormon. That’s it. So she goes to the Hamptons and meets this guy…
Man: Wait a minute, what’s a Russian Mormon doing in the Hamptons?
Woman, annoyed: [groan]
–Whole Foods Columbus Circle
