Man: Yeah, I know, I’m still getting over it too. I just can’t believe he won. I mean, Bush is the Ed Wood of politics.
–88th b. Lex & 3rd
Overheard by: Terence
Man: Yeah, I know, I’m still getting over it too. I just can’t believe he won. I mean, Bush is the Ed Wood of politics.
–88th b. Lex & 3rd
Overheard by: Terence
Lady on cell: She must have been humiliated by the parade of wives!
–Broadway & 72nd
Man to friend: Whenever I want to fuck my wife, she doesn't want to. But when I can't, she always wants to. I think she does it out of spite.
–12th St
(Elton John's Rocketman playing on radio) "I miss the Earth so much… I miss my wife…"
Barista: You don't miss your wife, Elton. You're gay!
–Small Coffee Shop, SoHo
Midget handing out fliers: Who likes comedy? (to man in striped shirt) Hey, do you like comedy? I like striped shirts, let's work something out here!
(man keeps walking)
Midget, yelling after him: No wonder your wife doesn't love you!
–Union Square Subway
30-something guy: Dude, that's so rude. Plus, she's going to be your wife soon, so you've got to stop calling her that.
–Hell's Kitchen
Man #1: Hey man! I thought you were doing 30 years?!
Man #2: That was 30 years!
–Hamilton Heights
Woman on phone: I am being nice, but I'm not going to describe to you in great detail what a bug looks like!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R&L
Man in zoot suit: When I talk, I don't want you bitches saying nothing! I only wanna hear the cockroaches fornicating on the walls!
–F Train
Overheard by: Reagan
Hipster: It was like watching a praying mantis have a seizure.
–16th & 8th
Wasted girl on sidewalk: No, I am so upset, I am so upset, I lost the back of my phone and there is a bug, a bug!
–11th & Broadway
Old lady: She looks pretty much like a roach.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Man carrying camera and subway map: Do you think we look like tourists?
Woman carrying huge fanny packs, dead serious: No, I think we look okay.
–N Train
Man: If you do that, you will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Woman: I will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it?
Man: Yes, you will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Woman: So, I will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Man: Yes, you will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Woman: Well, I really think I'm justified.
Man: Oh, do you really think you're justified?
Woman: Yes, I really think I'm justified.
Man: So you really think you're justified?
Woman: Yes, I really think I'm justified.
–11th St & Perry St
Overheard by: Joe
Man on cell: Hello?…Yeah, I’m at the movies…Yeah, I know…I’m in the fucking theater!…I don’t care if she needs brain surgery, I’m at the movies!
–Loews 19th Street East
Girl on phone: You know her, red hair, goes to a lot of shows… Her lip is kind of, y'know, stuck to her nose a bit on the one side.
–Union Square
Promoter to older man passing by: Excuse me, sir, you dropped your clitoris.
–St.Mark's Place
Suit: And his head was askew…
–79th St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Ladle
Suit on cell: The woman's toenails were three inches long.
–The Village
Guy to another: I knew a guy with a tail–an extended tailbone. It was thiiiis (shows) long!
–8th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Rick
50-something New Yorker: He was Barbara Streisand's cousin! And he stretched my urethra. It was great! Well, not at the time. But now it's great!
–Broadway & 59th St
Overheard by: Nikki
Man in bathroom stall to old Chinese man persistently knocking on his door: Look, I only got in here just now. Stop knocking! I'm gonna learn Chinese just to tell you how it is.
Man using urinal: Don't be hatin'.
Man in bathroom stall: Don't be stupid!
–Columbus Park
