Mom: First it will be spring, then summer, then time for you to go to kindergarten.
Four-year-old boy: Will there be nice kids there?
Mom: Are there nice kids at your day care now?
Four-year-old boy: Yeees…
Mom: You're the only bad kid at day care.
Four-year-old boy: I knooow!
–Uptown D Train
Little girl playing a Nintendo DS: Yes! Yes!
Mother: What happened?
Little girl: Never mind, Mom. You just wouldn’t understand.
–E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Mom to a seven-year-old kid on school bus: Fucking animal, I’ll fucking kill you!
Seven-year-old bully: Suck my dick, you ugly bitch!
Mom to son: Every fucking day! I can’t stand this shit!
–11th St & 4th ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Wish she didn’t live on the block
Chick: Is marijuana vegan?
Father: It is unless you roll it in elephant hide. Or foreskin.
Mother: A joint rolled in foreskin would give you two pleasures at once!
–13th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Colin
Mother #1: Yeah, Thanksgiving is so crazy. I decided long ago not to travel; it’s too much with the kids.
Mother #2: I know. I went to California once with the kids, and it was insane!
Mother #1: We just have a nice, quiet dinner at home.
Mother #2: I know! Once, we had a pantsless Thanksgiving. We all sat around the table without any pants on and ate dinner. The boys were crawling on the table, it was great!
Mother #1: Yikes…
–Avenue of the Americas
(waiting in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mommy, I really want a lollipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here honey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lollipop, okay?
(mother ignores him)
Kid: Just give in, it’s okay, I want one. It’s okay to give in, mom.
(pause)
Kid: Mom, this isn’t going to work for me! I want a lollipop!
Random guy in line: Resist!
–Associated Supermarkets, Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: CaitlinisNewHere
Four-year-old boy: You're so mean to me, mama!
Mom: Yeah, I get that all the time.
–Commodities Natural Market, 10th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Richelle
Little girl: Mommy! Mommy!
Mother: What is it?!
Little girl: Why you gotta have an attitude?
–Cortelyou & Marlborough, Brooklyn
Overheard by: BWA
Park slope kid : Mommy, mommy, mommy! Can you fart?
Park slope mom, hesitant: That's not something to say on a train, sweetie. And no.
(little girls starts to throw a fit)
Park slope kid: Why not?!
–F Train
Mom to fussing toddler: I'm right here, sweetheart!
Crazy guy: Sweetheart. Sweeeetheart. Why not “salt” heart? Saaaaaaaaaalllllllttttt heeeeaaaaaarrt!
–Starbucks
