Dude fighting his way through crowd of tourists: Ugh, it’s like being in a video game. It’s like being in Asteroids!
Chick: Yeah, only you can’t shoot anybody, so it’s not as much fun.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Marizzle
Dude fighting his way through crowd of tourists: Ugh, it’s like being in a video game. It’s like being in Asteroids!
Chick: Yeah, only you can’t shoot anybody, so it’s not as much fun.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Marizzle
Girl: What? It’s not so messed up. He wanted to kill him, because he killed his girlfriend.
Guy: Um…
Girl: What? If someone killed me, you wouldn’t want to kill him?
Guy: Well… There’s no way I’m getting out of this conversation well, is there?
–PATH train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Dude #1: I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Dude #2: Ummm… Hmmm.
–F train
Girl: This friend of mine, her cat killed an endangered bird… in Germany. They had to bury it, like, three feet underground.
–Queens-bound E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Dude on cell: I saw Tim Burton on an interview the other day, and I said to my cat, ‘Snicket, behold a man who has never yet combed his hair!’
–AMDA entrance
Overheard by: McKinley’s Friend
Girl: And her cat and my cat are, like, really close…
–BX26 bus
Guy: I mean, I don’t even eat cat…
–14th St & 5th Ave
Guy to friend: No, cocaine. Cats really like cocaine!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kerri
Hipster guy: So, in two days it’s going to be Friday the 13th. Let’s go kill someone!
Hipster chick: What?!
Hipster guy: Seriously, let’s go kill a hobo or something. Nobody would care!
–NYU Silver Center
Dude #1: So, you want to hear about my trip to Miami?
Dude #2: Yeah, why not — just let me order a bottle of J.D. first, then it will get really interesting!
Dude #1: Yeah, fuck Miami, let’s get dead drunk and plan a murder.
Dude #2: Seriously, who do you have to fuck to get drunk around here?
–Double Seven Bar, 418 W 14th St
Dude #1: You have to make a decision — between the girls you want to fuck, the girls you want to kill, and the girls you want to marry.
Dude #2: Yeah…
–East Houston
Hobo: Fuck you, you shits, you fucking assholes. I’m going to fucking kill you! Fuck you! Fuck you bitches! Fuck you and your mothers!
Queer #1: Oh no. No you did not just call me a bitch. You crazy homeless fuck.
Queer # 2: Mhm, get sassy on this bitch. Bitch deserves to be homeless. He should just shut his mouth and keep it movin’.
–Sheridan Square
Little boy: How come every time you come around, my London, London Bridge…
Father: I told you, I don’t like that song. Stop singing it.
Little boy: …wanna go down, like London, London, London…
Father: If you don’t stop singing it, I’ll kill you.
Little boy: …wanna go down, like London, London, London…
Father: That’s it, I killed you. You’re dead. No one can see you now.
Little boy: I can’t be dead. I have to pee.
–Uptown 2 train
Overheard by: Ashwini
Tween boy: Then Tom Cruise and Will Smith get married and have babies.
–74th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Rachel
3 year old: Ahhh, my mouth is on fire! My mouth is on fire! Help me, Tom Cruise!
–89th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex
Man to girlfriend: Shit, I like that Martha Stewart. She a gangsta in disguise.
–Kmart, Astor Place
Guy: He is like the L. Ron Hubbard of Teach for America.
–Lenny’s, 77th & 2nd
Overheard by: Rebecca
Crazy guy: You fuckers don’t deserve to be here! John Lennon died for peace and tolerance! Get the fuck out of here, queers! John died for peace and humanity!
— 72nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: emily
Chick on cell: Yeah, he wouldn’t watch my kid last night because he was hanging out with Wilmer Valderrama.
–1st Ave between 12th & 13th
Hobo: Betty Boop killed Martin Luther King!
–1 train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
