Suit #1: So, when are you meeting him downtown?
Suit #2: I don’t know. It depends on when he gets done having sex with Gabrielle.
Suit #1: That doesn’t sound too bad!
–32nd St
Suit #1: So, when are you meeting him downtown?
Suit #2: I don’t know. It depends on when he gets done having sex with Gabrielle.
Suit #1: That doesn’t sound too bad!
–32nd St
Old lady on cell: Hello? Hello? Yes! I’m here! In Brooklyn!
–Broadway & Fulton
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Wigger on cell: Yo, Roove, I’m at Pimp Station.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Dude on cell: Hey, I’m in New York City. Do you know of any ATMs around New York?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: The Doifter
Girl on cell: Hi, can you hear me? I’m in New York. Yeah, I’m at Macy’s.
–H&M, 34th St
Woman on cell: You’re in the park near the benches? There are tons of benches… That’s like saying you’re in Detroit and you’re near the drugs and violence.
–Washington Square Park
Lady on cell: Uh, yeah… I think I’m in the Empire State Building.
–Observation deck, Empire State Building
Middle-aged woman on cell, picking up after her dog: Actually, I’m in Palm Springs at the moment — I’ll be here for another week.
–Mercer & Spring
Overheard by: Wish I were in Palm Springs
Ghetto clerk #1: Someone called before from New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: So?
Ghetto clerk #1: Well, I didn’t know there was a New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: Yeah, there’s Mexico and New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #1: Oh, I get it. So it’s like Bronk and da Bronx?
Ghetto clerk #2: Not really.
–Manhattan Supreme Court
Hipster girl on cell: Kim, I’m such a spaz! I forgot it was Wednesday, and I forgot I was supposed to meet you for lunch. So I’m on the Upper East Side and —
Black guy yelling: No, you ain’t! You at Union Square, bitch!
Hipster girl on cell: –Sorry. I’m on the Upper East Side and I don’t have time to go downtown right now.
–Union Square
Wannabe socialite #1: God, I hate everyone in this part of town.
Wannabe socialite #2: I know, right? I mean… they walk so slowly, and talk so much nonsense.
(pause)
Wannabe socialite #1: The coke hangover can’t help though, can it?
Wanna be socialite #2: Definitely not.
–Broadway & Spring
Old woman #1: Where is Penn Station?
Old woman #2: What do you mean? We were just there!
Old woman #1: Yes, but where is it? I want to go to Penn Station.
Old woman #2: I don’t know where it is, and I don’t know where we are.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sophistahippie
White guy: Where do you live?
White girl: The Upper East Side. Where do you live?
White guy: I just moved to the city, I live in Harlem.
White girl: Oh, that must be scary.
White guy: Nah, it's not scary. I'm from Northwestern Florida so I mean I'm used to black people…plus, I play basketball.
White girl (nods in complete agreement): Oh, you're fine then.
–Bowery Bar
Conductor: Next stop, the street formerly known as Prince Street.
–R train
Overheard by: Rachel Kolb
Skinny white girl: Okay, so you know how they're always saying “the Tri-State area”?
Hispanic friend: Yeah.
Skinny white girl: They mean New York, New Jersey, and Atlantic City right?
Hispanic friend: I think so…
–Nail Salon, Kew Gardens
Woman on cell, wearing fuchsia catsuit and clutching stuffed parrot: I’m on the corner of Broadway and 69th in a ridiculous outfit.
–69th & Broadway
Buff guy: You know what they used to call me in jail? “Harry the Robe,” because I wore this beautiful white robe after I took showers.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: gina
Girl on cell: I swear, if I have my underwear on inside out today I am just going to snap.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Amused listener
Preppy guy: Is there a philosopher named Kenneth Cole? Because there is this huge billboard with his quote on it.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Rivington between Norfolk & Essex
Guy in black cape and Batman-type mask: No one ever fucks with me when I go out at night rocking this outfit.
–Franklin & Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lil pirate
Girl: Do they even have Prada in Boston? They just have baked beans and Benjamin Franklin, and he’s dead.
–Stanton & Orchard
Girl, walking behind another girl who’s wearing a pink tutu, white stockings, and a tiara: Let her walk alone wearing this on her birthday.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Not Wearing a Tutu
