Guy: I’m a NyLon.
Girl: A what?
Guy: A NyLon. New York-Londoner.
Girl: Oh, well, I’m a NoInt.
Guy: NoInt?
Girl: Yeah, Not Interested.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy Stone
Guy: I’m a NyLon.
Girl: A what?
Guy: A NyLon. New York-Londoner.
Girl: Oh, well, I’m a NoInt.
Guy: NoInt?
Girl: Yeah, Not Interested.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy Stone
Tourist: I don’t like this train line. On the L line they have benches so that you can kneel down and pray… And they don’t have crevices digging into your ass and shit.
–1 train
Tourist girl: Let’s go to the Upper Wet Side.
–Palace Theatre, Broadway
Tourist: You haven’t been raped and stabbed ’til you’ve been raped and stabbed in New York.
–Central Park
Dude with huge backpack, clutching a map: Sometimes you just don’t want to see a huge ball of twine, y’know? It’s, like, 200 miles away. [Guy next to him nods head vigorously.]
–Manhattan-bound L train
Middle-aged tourist on cell: No, we gotta go to Penn Central. Trust me, I know this place — we gotta get to Penn Central.
–Penn Station
Woman with dalmatian, stuck on island mid-crossing: We don’t want to get killed on Park Avenue! We need to go to Fifth Avenue!
Dalmatian: [Silent.]Woman: Fifth Avenue only!
–92nd & Park
New Yorker: …and then the tourists paused near the construction of the New York Times’ new building, and one, who was I guess their leader, pointed to it and said, “Everyone, that’s Ground Zero.”
–26th & Park
Tourist: And this is H Street. So we’ll be in SoHo next.
–Houston Street
Tourist girl: Oh, look! I think that’s Times Square!
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Sumitra
Woman on cell: No, I can’t. I’m in the Times Square area right now.
–Canal & Baxter
Overheard by: Steph J.
Dude: Excuse me, is this Times Square?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dumbfounded
Teenage girl: Does this train go to Manhattan?
–Times Square, waiting for the downtown C train
Overheard by: Courtney
Tourist: Wait, are we in Manhattan or just New York?
–Times Square
Overheard by: betsy
Australian hipster: Could you tell me how to get back to Manhattan?
–112th & Broadway
NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here's Grand Central!
–Broadway & Waverly
Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn't sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don't even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?
–1 Train
Overheard by: amalthya
Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don't understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don't know where that is!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy on cell: I don't get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you're not going to go see Stonehenge?
–Costco, Brooklyn
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?
–85th & 1st
Overheard by: Special K
Asian tourist: Excuse me. Excuse me!
Guy: Yeah?
Asian tourist, pointing at random building: Is that the Empire State Building?!
Guy: Yes.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Priscilla Perez
Hipster girl: ‘Flushing Queens’ would be a great name for a man.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Beautiful Barnard Woman
Drunk dude watching girl rip the shirt off a guy: What, no blood? Queens is lame.
–Shea Stadium
Boyfriend to girlfriend: Prepare to be blown away by the majesty of Queens!
–E train platform, Penn Station
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound A train.
–Brooklyn-bound A train
Overheard by: Maggie
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound… No, Manhattan-bound… No, Queens… Wait, hang on. This is a Manhattan-bound E train. Next stop: 53rd and Lex… Shit.
–Manhattan-bound E train, 53rd & Lex
Announcement over the subway: This is not the Queens-bound E train. [Half the train empties] This is the Queens-bound E train.
–E train, Penn Station
Tourist #1: Something’s wrong. We’re already at 36th Street, and we were supposed to get off at 49th.
Tourist #2: We’re not in Manhattan yet, stupid.
Tourist #1: Oh, right, we’re still in Bronx!
–R train, 36th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by:
Woman #1: I hate this time of year in the city. It's like there are ten times as many tourists as usual, because everyone's on vacation.
Woman #2: I know. I mean, just look at the flocks of Asian people around here!
Woman #1: Ummmm, we're in Chinatown.
–Mott & Grand
Overheard by: Elisabeth
Girl on cell, looking for her friends: Can you see me? Look at the sun, I'm directly under it right now.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy on cell: Yeah, we'll go now. Okay. Right now, I'm at 116 and Hamsterdam–Hamsterdam? What the fuck did I just say? Oh, wow, that is a disturbing mental image. Yeah, exactly. River full of hamsters. Okay, see ya.
–116th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: That would be truly terrifying.
Harlem woman on cell: Come find me! I'm on the downtown side of the street!
–East Side
Drunk guy on cell: Yo, I'm on the corner of fuckin' somethin' an somethin'.
–42nd St & 5th Ave
Drunk on cell: Where am I? Where am I? I'm at the corner of Charles Street and motherfucking I don't know!
–West Village
Woman to friends: Oh thank god! I feel so much safer now that we're at 7th Avenue.
–G Train
