Queer on cell: Michael Alig…yeah, I don’t remember those years so well.
–1st & A
Hood on cell: Yo man, that bitch stole two ounces of coke from my house!…She’s your friend, you go get it back!
–outside The Martini Red Lounge, Staten Island
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Guy on pay phone: …and Santa’s reindeer won’t be coming home!
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Traczie Bellinger
Lady: Girl, or all the hairs growin’ out of my face, I’d take your wart in a second.
–Bally Sports Club, Madison & 43rd
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
Trendy boy: God, I feel so bad farting next to all these really expensive cars.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Lindsay
Dude on cell: …so I got into this fight last night and totally whaled on the dude…totally kicked his ass! His nose was bleeding and everything!….OK, I’ll see ya later. Peace.
–Coffee Shop, Union Square West
Drunk Guy #1: You’re gonna charge me a dollar for just one cigarette?
Drunk Guy #2: You think I’m gonna fucking give you change?
–46th St. & 8th Ave.
Overheard by: Ryan
Man on cell: I’m going to buy a pack of cigarettes. I’m dying here, you’re literally killing me.
–3rd Ave. & 12th St.
Overheard by: Este Bagato
Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Jon Graboff
Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.
–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street
Overheard by: james uphoff
Hobo: …but don’t worry; us Republicans know what you’re up to!
–Sullivan & W. 3rd
Woman on cell: Uh huh…yeah…right…uh huh…uh huh…the one you thought was underwear…uh huh…right…
–Lincoln Center
Girl on cell: I am so not dressed for a strip club!
–Times Square
Man on cell: The Golden Girls DVD?…Why not?
–Astoria
Overheard by: spygirl
Girl on cell: Oh no! I dropped a bunch of papers that I don’t need!
–Pace University elevator
Overheard by: shawn mac
Conductor: The next stop will be…Hell, I don’t even know what it is!
–B train
Overheard by: Miss Babette
Guy: You know, when I was doing those breathing exercises, I realized: I don’t think I’ve been able to breathe out of my left nostril since 1995.
–General Store, DUMBO
Overheard by: Beth
Woman on cell: I liked it, but I didn’t understand some things. Like, when you learned she was a whore. Where would you learn that? In the conversation with your mother? Why would she tell you something like that?…Oh, yeah. Now I understand. No, I liked it a lot.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Slave2theMan
Man on phone: Listen, I know I’m like the 500th person to tell you this, but you’ve got a problem…No, I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic! You just drink too much!
–NYSC, 7th Ave & 10th St
Man on cell: I would fucking marry the girl, if it wasn’t for every time I went down on her she tasted like hummus.
–3rd Ave. & 11th St.
