On the Subway

Jamaican girl #1: Well, you know Jesus Christ?
Jamaican girl #2: Yeah, I know him.
Jamaican girl #1: Well, he’s really really nice, ya know? But not everyone likes him…It’s the same thing with you.
Jamaican girl #2: Oh, ok. I understand what you’re saying.

–Uptown D train

Overheard by: EllieB

40-something woman: Oh, I'm sorry.
Young dude: That's okay, but you just hit my crotch.
40-something woman: Well, did you at least enjoy it?
Young dude: Heh-heh, not really.

–L Train

Son to mom: I have this new kid in my class and the teacher said he is autistic. Where do autistic people come from?
Mom: Autistic chickens, they ate an autistic chicken when he was younger and out he came, out and autistic.

–W Train

Girl #1: Yeah, that French kid’s pretty hot.
Girl #2: His butt is like…it’s like a croissant!
Girl #1: Ohmigod, ew. But yeah, it’s true.

–1 train

Crazy preacher guy: If you think I'm not telling the truth, fine. But on Judgement Day you will pay for all those times you didn't go to church.
Passenger: Hey, it's Easter Sunday…shouldn't you be in church?
Crazy preacher guy: Oh, shit.

–1 Train

Tourist lady #1: Oh, it’s worth paying the cab fare. I mean, the subway…well, after September 11th it’s just not safe, you know?
Tourist lady #2: You’ve ridden the subway before?
Tourist lady #1: No, it smells weird.

–Hunt Valley bus

Overheard by: Katie Cheek

Prospective girl #1: OK, so tomorrow, let’s all wear our “I Heart NY” t-shirts.
Prospective girl #2: Yeah! And I can wear my Columbia sweatshirt over it!

–Morningside Heights

Toddler: Why is Jack-Jack’s name “Jack-Jack”? Why not regular Jack?
Mom: That’s just a nickname. I think his real name is just plain Jack.
Toddler: Can my nickname be Johann-Johann?

–1 train

Overheard by: Matt G

Loud girl #1: I want an iPod.
Loud girl #2: I think iPods are completely overrated; iPods, Uggs, and nose rings…
Man: Girls, you’re forgetting space tourism, you fucking idiots.

–G train

Bible thumper: I love you all… even you, sir.
Man: I hate you.

–A Train

Overheard by: SanjayU

Indian man: You’re the stupidest lady in the world…You see her? She’s the stupidest lady in the world. You are #1!

–7 train

Overheard by: isabelle

Teen girl #1: What is the Bronx short for?
Teen girl #2: It’s not short for anything, it’s just the Bronx.
Teen girl #1: Oh, I thought it was short for Brooklyn.
Teen girl #2: Wow.

–6 train

Overheard by: Jen