Hobo #1: Britney Spears is a pussy.
Hobo #2: I was tapping her before she got pregnant.
–1 Train
Hobo #1: Britney Spears is a pussy.
Hobo #2: I was tapping her before she got pregnant.
–1 Train
Subway operator: This downtown 1 train will not be stopping at 50th Street. I repeat, will not be stopping at 50th Street.
(a minute passes)
Subway operator: We will not be stopping at 50th Street. There is a stalled train there. We will be going straight to 42nd without stopping at 50th.
(another minute goes by)
Subway operator: This is a downtown 1 train, next stop will be 50th. Shit! 42nd.
–1 Train
Conductor: If you see something, say something.
Crazy fat lady reading book: Mind your own business, don't say anything. (a few minutes later) I don't wanna be no Asian, I don't wanna be the size of no Asian.
–Downtown A train
Nutsy guy #1: I'm nuttier than you are!
Nutsy guy #2: No!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Teenage Asian girl: I have a question: would you want me to hang out with a vampire?
Old Hispanic woman: No!
Teenage Asian girl: Okay. I knew that.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Ryan
Hood teen #1: So they told me if I fight her I'll get arrested.
Hood teen #2: Why? She pregnant?
–L Train
Overheard by: Jamma Mamma
Man on cell: You know I can't come over, I'm a daddy now! I have a dog! He needs me 24/7. I can't leave his sight, not even for a second! I'm just out for a moment to buy him some food, but other than that…
–Crosstown Bus
Souvenir seller: Get your doggy diary! Get your puppy program! Get your beagle bible! Get your bulldog blog!
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Man at payphone: They tried to catch the hero dog, but he ran away.
–107 & West End
Overheard by: kdub
Half tone-deaf guy with guitar, singing: I'll marry you for your Green card, but I'll sleep with your sister cause she's prettier than you. She's 75 years old, never been touched by a man, let alone a dog…
–1 Train
Overheard by: CreateEvity
Man leaning out of car, to man walking Schnauzer: Excuse me…that's a Marmaduke?
–3rd Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jeff S.
Woman on cell: If I don't get a dog soon I'm totally going to get pregnant.
–Wall Street
Drunk hobo, eyeing designer bottled water: Hey lady, is that all vodka?
UES lady, without missing a beat: Not this morning.
–4 Train
Overheard by: austin
Mom #1: She refuses to wear slacks! She'll only wear dresses and skirts. She told me, “mommy, girls don't like to have anything between their legs except their underpants.”
Mom #2: Let's hope she feels that way til she's twenty.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Ghetto hipster #1: I've never been to Queens!
Ghetto hipster #2: Queens is where like…retired cops from the Bronx go to retire and feel safe.
–L Train
Overheard by: anna
