Straight guy: Shit! They’re closed. There’s no way I’ll be able to buy a dildo this late at night.
Guy walking by: Dude, in this city you can definitely find a dildo this late at night.
–13th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jesse D
Straight guy: Shit! They’re closed. There’s no way I’ll be able to buy a dildo this late at night.
Guy walking by: Dude, in this city you can definitely find a dildo this late at night.
–13th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jesse D
Bus driver: The next stop on this bus is Fifth Avenue. Please have your passports ready!
–M79 bus
Bus driver: This is the Manhattan number one bus. Destination: San Juan, Puerto Rico.
–M1 bus
Bus driver: East Tremont Avenue, transfer to the 40 and 42… Put on those running shoes, there’s the 40 now!
–Fordham-bound Bx22 bus
Overheard by: Black Knight
Bus driver: Okay, now everyone move to the right side of the bus. We’re running on three wheels today, and we have to stay balanced.
–M14 bus
Overheard by: Almost moved to the other side of the bus
Bus driver: To your right you’ll see a bronze statue of Adam Clayton Powell, first black member of Congress… Looks like he’s runnin’ from the cops.
–125th & Adam Clayton Powell Blvd
Overheard by: sueinthecity
Bus driver, about jackhammers outside: Do you hear that, people? That’s the sound of real labor! [Plays the sound of the jackhammers on the intercom] Embrace it!
–Q88 bus
JAP: Can you believe it’s snowing upstate? It’s crazy.
Hispanic delivery man: Yeah.
JAP: Can you believe that that Yankee died? It’s crazy.
Hispanic delivery man: Yeah.
–Empire State Building
Old time New Yorker to EMS workers and crowd: Sit down!
Suburban princess: God! Have some compassion! Can't you see she's sick?
Old time New Yorker: Fuck you!
–Subway Series 2007, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Amazed Mets Fan
Old black lady: Bus driver, you a dumb motherfucker! You just turned down the wrong street!
Man: Don’t worry, Mr. Bus Driver, I still have faith in you.
Old black lady, to man: Get your faggot-ass off the bus!
–8 bus, Bronx
Hobo, playing a saxophone awfully: I’m gon’ keep playing ’til somebody gives me some motherfucking money!
–Downtown R train
Overheard by: Eliot
Attorney: Wow, it’s really bad outside!
Front Desk Lady: I hope it’s not like that when it’s time to go home.
Attorney: Hey, don’t you live in Staten Island?
Front Desk Lady: No I don’t. And even if you buy me a $4 million house there, I still wouldn’t live in that dump.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Felson
Woman #1: A car blew up on my street last night, and I was like,
“Here come the fuckin’ terrorists!”
Woman #2: Terrorists in Queens?
Woman #1: Not by me. Terrorists get shot in my neighborhood!
–E train
Small Asian girl, crying on cell phone: Where are you guys?
Security guard: No talking on cell phones!
Asian girl: But… But I lost my friends.
Security guard: And no crying either!
–The Met
20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up.
–2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Dodd Loomis
Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to!
–F Train
Overheard by: Chelsea S.
Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta!
–B61 Bus
Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable.
–Chambers St
Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City!
–Times Square
