Daughter: I feel bad for you, but not that bad.
Mother: You're a little bitch, honey.
Daughter: You just called me a bitch!
Mother: But I said “honey” afterward.
–Kane St
Daughter: I feel bad for you, but not that bad.
Mother: You're a little bitch, honey.
Daughter: You just called me a bitch!
Mother: But I said “honey” afterward.
–Kane St
Thug #1: I heard he’s in some shit. Married, two kids, child support,
a wife, girl on the side, and she just found out about his boyfriend.
Thug #2: Yeah, that’s some shit.
–15th & 3rd
Overheard by: Garrett Ricciardi
Mother: What do you mean by “she's obsessed with him”?
Five-year-old daughter: Cause she's all like…up his butt!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Guy: So then why are guys from the Eastern Europe and black guys so good at basketball?
Dad: Natural selection.
Guy: What?
Dad: They’ve had to fight to survive. It weeds out the physically inadequate.
Guy: Give me a break. It’s the ghetto, not some Hobbesian state of nature; they’re not cavemen living in anarchy up there.
–Madison Square Garden
Mom: How much is it?
Chick: A hundred and fifty bucks.
Mom: Let me pay.
Chick: Mom! No! Don’t give me any goddamn money!
Mom: Here, just take it, dammit!
Chick: Fine, but I’m paying for the taxi home.
Mom: I can’t believe Michael puts up with you. You are so divorced in
five years.
–The Gap, 18th & 5th
Mom: I'm not made of money, you know!
Kid: You look like you are.
Mom: Well, I'm not.
–Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: she didn't look like she was…
Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.
–23rd & 3rd
Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!
–Midtown Office
Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!
–74th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband
Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Mom, loudly: Who does mommy love?
Screaming toddler, holding cup in stroller: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Mommy loves the baby! And who's the baby?
Child: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Are you the baby?
(child starts crying)
Mom: Oh, stop that! You're old enough to drink a latte, so quit crying.
–183rd St & Ft. Washington Ave
Overheard by: Anna
Ghetto dad: Fuck that.
Ghetto mom: Don’t say that. She’s a fucking three-year-old!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Liz
Little girl: Mommy, how old will I be when I have sex?
–18th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mayde and Daniel
