Friend pushing cart to little girl: Get your feet out of the way! C'mon!
Mom of little girl: No, it's okay. She don't love her feet.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jaxx
Friend pushing cart to little girl: Get your feet out of the way! C'mon!
Mom of little girl: No, it's okay. She don't love her feet.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jaxx
Professor: May I speak of your mother's uterus?
Foreign grad student: Uh…
Professor: You're sharing such a small space. Someone's bound to get more resources. It's crazy!
–Lecture Hall, NYU
Overheard by: uteran lining
Thugette: Nigga, don't let your dog bite my kid! If that shit happens, my kid will bite your dog!
Thug with dog, surprised: Your kid will bite my dog?
–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: D-Law
Southern tourist daughter: Mommy, why can't we just get off at Jamaica? Aren't there sunny beaches there? Why's it all so cloudy?
Southern tourist mother: Because we're on the subway to go to the Liberty Statue tour, honey bunches.
(short pause)
Southern tourist daughter: But why's everything so damaged?
–LIRR
Mother: So it goes Groton, Exeter, then Andover. That's your priority list right?
Five-year-old boy: Right.
–88th St & Lexington Ave
Girl: So then I said "mother, I am 20 years old and you cannot tell me I can't go to Wet 'n Wild!"
–Central Park
Overheard by: Quella
Weird chick: Eeeeek! That toilet is flooding! My Payless shoes are getting wet! My beautiful Payless shoes! All this water looks like that movie, The Blob! Oh, I hate you, Steve McQueen! I hate you, I hate you!
–Women's Restroom, Port Authority
Overheard by: Amber Star
Drunk girl to drunker friend who spilled beer on her lap: Again with the vaginal wetness?
–LIRR
Guy to a girl in laundromat: Why can't you dry your underwear? Is that because they're so used to being wet when you're wearing them?
–1st. Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: Mike
Girl to boy: So about this whole wet dream thingy…
–C Train
Little girl in men's room stall: Daddy, someone peed on the seat.
Dad: No, it's fine, honey.
Little girl: Daddy, someone peed on the seat!
Dad: It's fine, just go.
Little girl: Daddy, I peed on the seat.
–LaGuardia Airport
Hipster guy: So, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
Girl: I don't think so.
Hipster guy: Cool. I'll get you the address for the place my band is playing at. We can hang afterwards.
Girl: Awesome!
Girl's mom, to hipster: Don't bother. She's 17. And you're a pedophile.
Hipster guy: Oh. Right. Sorry. (leaves)
Girl: Goddamn it, mom! You're such a fucking cockblock!
–Jules Jazz Bar
Overheard by: Millie
Woman #1: Your baby doesn't have shoes on!
Woman #2: He doesn't need shoes, he's part Indian.
–Madison Square Garden
Big man waiting in line: Mom, it's organic, not robbery.
Mom: Okay, keep telling yourself that.
–Whole Foods
Overheard by: Jessica
