Girl to friend (about guy with camera behind her): His dick is digging into my back!
Guy to friend (oblivious to what girl said): My camera lens is digging into her ass!
–The Crazy Donkey, Broadhollow Road
Overheard by:
Girl to friend (about guy with camera behind her): His dick is digging into my back!
Guy to friend (oblivious to what girl said): My camera lens is digging into her ass!
–The Crazy Donkey, Broadhollow Road
Overheard by:
Very young girl talking to friends: I know that there are other kinds of private parts besides what I have. I’ve seen them. (a minute later, giggling) It looked like a finger coming out!
Little friend: Haha! Vagina!
–5th Ave
Girl #1: I’m so glad I can say I saw Lea Michele’s boob now.
Girl #2: I just wanted to see that guy’s dick though. It was so close…
–Eugene O’Neil Theater
Headline by: ToddS
Runners-Up:
· “…I Could Taste It” – Ian
· “And All He Needs Is Another $10,000 to Finish the Operation” – davey j
· “And Then I Dropped the Magnifying Glass” – Fred
· “Close Encounters Of the Third Eye” – Erin
· “If His Pants Were Any Tighter, I Could Have Told You the Name Of His Rabbi.” – Fia
Pretty girl looking in mirror: My eyebrows are too small for my face.
Queer friend: My penis is too small for my ego. We learn to deal with it.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Climate Changer
Girl: Alright, well, this is my stop, I gotta go.
Friend: (shouting from open doors) Okay, but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you! He’s got a tiny-ass dick and he sure as hell don’t know how to use it!
–1 Train
Overheard by: liz
Giant rasta to his dick: Man, I know one thing for sure, I ain’t needing no more to drink tonight! I’m trying to enjoy my night with you, Woody. Woody? Woody? You awake, Woody? Man, I needs me one of them diamond pills already?
Onlooker #1: Is he talking to his shit?
Onlooker #2: I’m sure as hell not Woody.
–The Coffee Shop, Union Square
Overheard by: Schreibz
Drunk man to friend carrying him: And she keeps making fun of my tiny dick, but then she keeps grabbing my ass. Can you explain that to me?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: John-Boy
Man to friend: Ya know I’ve touched both your dick and your brother’s dick… and his is much bigger.
–44th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: bigstoopit
20-something guy: I’ve just decided I need to quit dicking around and buy some q-tips.
–1 Train
Overheard by: drew
Guy, yelling: I did not put Peter’s dick in my mouth. I didn’t see it, I don’t even know what it looks like! None of us even came and it’s not important!
–Greenwich Ave
Obviously straight guy: For a million dollars. I’d suck the Jolly Green Giant’s dick, I don’t care if it did break my jaw.
–MacDougal St
Guy: And I was thinking how lucky I was not to have had a bris. That guy had like eight of them!
–Thai Restaurant
Overheard by: sara swank
Girl: Wait, are you circumcised? In the penis?
–Wicked Monk, 86th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: christine
Beautiful Latina: But my dad getting circumcised at 57 wasn’t even the funniest thing!
–Dallas BBQ, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen on cell: So, they were going to uncircumcise it?
–Flatbush Ave & 7th Ave, Brooklyn
Teen girl: Oh my god, my circumcised hot dog!
–The Summit School
Overheard by: Michael
CVS employee on cell: Yo, that nigga be gangsta son, he be gangsta. That nigga be circumcised, he all "what?" that nigga fall down, he be "waah, waah" then be be right back up playing an shit. Yeah, that nigga’s gangsta.
–CVS, 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Robyn
Sex ed volunteer: Now if you put the condom on the wrong way, do not, I repeat, do not turn it inside out and put it on. Because we all know what gets on the tip.
Male student: Penis juice!
Sex ed volunteer: Did you just say “penis juice”?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Withnail
Young man in small crowd: Honestly, the vaginas I’ve seen in real life are nowhere near as bad as the vaginas I’ve seen in med school.
–86th & Columbus
Overheard by: Stacey
Girl: I feel like the male anatomy is so much more straightforward. The vag is hard to master.
–Fordham University
20-something girl: If he’s gonna be such a whiny vagina about you being safe about your vagina, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with him anyways.
–NYU Dorm
Teenage boy, eating a sandwich: He said no mayonnaise. It tastes like a big vagina.
–63rd Drive & Queens Boulevard
Hobo: And then the woman just sucked it all into her vagina.
–44th & 7th
Overheard by: The One
Frantic Asian guy, running across the street in front of Worldwide Plaza: Yeah… Yeah… But whose vagina?"
–9th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: tinyfoo
