Chinese DVD lady: You want DVD? Spiderman, Pirates? All good new movies, you want?
People at table: No, thanks.
Tranny at next table (loudly): Yo mama you got any pornos in there? Hmm, I want something with dick in it, big dicks. You got anything?
–37th Ave Subway, After Gay Parade
Overheard by: Empty Refrigerator
Queer #1: Girl, his dick was so big it barely fit through the hole at the video booth.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah, he must have passed out every time he got an erection.
–Sapa Restaurant, Chelsea
Overheard by: M. Tina
Chick about cute guy standing: So, his penis… Big, small, doody ball?
Queer: Umm… It's good…slightly larger than doody ball.
Chick: Oh…good.
–Q Train
Overheard by: ShayaKNYC
Chick on cell: Do you prefer the superhero theme to us in only aprons, holding penis cakes?
–Garden of Eden Supermarket, 107th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
White guy to white girl: Wait, you'd be proud to be supermanned by me?
–D Train
(at the superhero fashion exhibit, in front of Catwoman's display)
Man to little kid: Oh, and look! She has a whip. I wonder what that's for…
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: EK
Black guy on cell: Nigga, you can't be James Bond and Batman, you pick which one you are.
–Smith & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ewan Walsh
Girl on cell: Am I gonna need to drug you, put you in a superhero costume, and snap photos?
–Halloween Adventure Store
Overheard by: McF
Batman to four-year-old who jumped out from behind a table: Evan, don't sneak up on me. Superheroes are wound very tight.
–Birthday party, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: PG
Asian chick: Yeah, we're sisters!
White chick: Don't you mean “sistas”?
Asian chick: Oh, yeah, right.
White chick: Why is it I have to teach you ghetto language when I am the least ghetto person I know?
Homeless guy: What's wrong with the ghetto?
White chick: Nothing's wrong with the ghetto. I'm just not from there.
Homeless guy: The biggest dicks are in the ghetto!
–33rd St & 3rd Ave
Loud office chick: Oh my god, I found, like, four condoms on the bookshelf!
–Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Serious teen on cell: If you use a condom… It doesn't count.
–Murray Hill
40-something woman to two 20-year-old men: Don't believe any girl when she tells you she's on birth control. Take your condom and keep it in your wallet.
–19th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: McCrum
Guy on cell: You're just mad because your dick is tiny and the condom slipped off.
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Powerwalking Indian woman: I mean, isn't that why I went on the pill? So guys can come in me?
–40th & Queens Blvd, Queens
Overheard by: Ohmarkus
Man: Why do you always have to bring that up?
Woman: Oh, come on, your penis is huge! It's one of the biggest I've ever seen! (gestures with hands)
Man (looking around nervously): Are you crazy? We're in a public place!
Woman: What? No one is listening.
–Lumi Restaurant
Black man #1: Yo, her mouth was so big it fit my dick and yo' balls in it.
Black Man #2: Oh, word?
–Yankees Stadium
Overheard by: HE said what?!
Chick #1: Let's have a baby together.
Chick #2: Let's do it. Which one of us is going to have it?
Chick #1: You are.
Chick #2: Why me?
Chick #1: Because I have the dick.
–Party, 6th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: hooked up with her the night before
Dude #1: You know, you're a real dick.
Dude #2: (nods)
Dude #1: But you're a dick like an asshole, not a dick like a cock.
Dude #2: Yeah?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Dan
