Wednesday One-Liners for Tara Reid

Girl on cell: I'll adopt it, the state gives you money for retarded kids.

–48th & 6th

Guy to friend, disdainfully: And she's always like, "I work with Down syndrome kids," at… computer camp or some shit.

–4th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Shannon

Girl: I think he is sexually retarded.

–5th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Abdul Marcos

Glitzed up Jersey girl to friends: I look so good right now, it's retarded.

–Ladies Room, Penn Station

Older man on cell: My dog has one of those retard vests, he can get into any restaurant in New York.

–W 23rd St & 6th Ave

Posted on September 2, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, B & T, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compliments, Computer, Friends, Girls, Government, Guys, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Retardation, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

All Of a Sudden, I'm Oddly Aroused.

Blonde #1, playing Mad Libs on train: Okay, give me an adverb.
Blonde #2: Wait, which one is that? I always get that confused with adjectives, or whatever.
Blonde #1: Adjectives describe things. Like saying a guy is hot, or something. Adverbs describe like, actions and stuff. Okay? So, gimme an adverb.
Blonde #2: Vibration. Does that count?
Blonde #3: Well, let's put “vibratorily.”

–Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Highly Entertained

Posted on September 1, 2009
Dildos and Vibrators, Girls, Offers and requests, Penn Station, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Words

And It Won't Get the Semen Out of My Eye

Teenager #1: I said “my fault.”
Teenager #2: You said “my bad”? “My bad” is not “I'm sorry”!

–Penn Station

Headline by: Ty

Runners-Up:
· “Actually, “My Bad” Is Like the Hawaiian “Aloha” …” – erkala
· “And That’s How Grammy and Grampy Made Me, Kids” – Kam
· “The Bush Twins Learned Early From Their Father….” – Lani Waters
· “The Fact That a Teenager Apologized Should Be Enough” – shenanigans
· “Yeah, Judas!” – mk

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on August 31, 2009
Apologies, Headline Contest Winners, Penn Station, Teens, Words

–Penn Station

Posted on August 30, 2009
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Men, Penn Station, Stupidity, Threats, Women

I'll Pass That on to Your Dad, Honey

Mother: People that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Seven-year-old son: They shouldn't be naked either.
Mother: Um, that too.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Rob A.

Posted on August 21, 2009
Advice, Glad the Condom Broke, Kids, Moms, Nudity, Parents, Penn Station

Wednesday One-Liners Get Jiggly With It

Dude: Do boobs need a reason?

–Perdition bar, 49th & 10th

Overheard by: Brokeass Harem

Guy: This is high school. Breasts are usually an effective way of determining gender.

–Stuyvesant High School

Old woman with Julie Andrews accent: I used to be quite buxom!

–Chinese Restaurant, 55th & 6th

Wife to husband: Did you see the tits on that Santa?

–Outside Penn Station, During SantaCon

Curvy woman on cell: Accessories? Oh please. My breasts are accessory enough.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: McFreaky

Posted on August 19, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Couples, Fashion, Gender issues, Guys, Height, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Questions, Rack, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Street, Stuyvesant, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners: Over a Billion Served.

McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Blayne

Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?

–117th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jesse D

Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.

–W 49th & 5th

Overheard by: canucks

Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!

–Broadway & 4th St

Overheard by: Jalex Leoley

Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!

–Staten Island Ferry

Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: alana h.

Posted on August 19, 2009
Cars and Driving, Cashiers, Christians, Church, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Dating, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Laughter, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Movies, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Southerners, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Tourism, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

Today on That's So Raven

“Drunk train” conductor: This is Jamaica station, train to Huntington… Please walk across the platform for the shiny train to Hempstead.
Drunk girl: Ohmygod dude, it's like actually shiny.

–Penn Station

Posted on August 15, 2009
Conductors, Directions, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Penn Station, Public Transportation

But at Least You Didn't Accidentally Drink the Nair This Time

Middle-aged blonde woman: We had a bottle of Nair and beer bottles in the shower. Woke up hungover, with no hair, in my underwear.
Middle-aged brunette woman: That's just sad.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Markle

Posted on August 13, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Hair, Penn Station, Waxing, Weirdness, Women

White People Often See the Policeman As Their Friend

Lost tourist lady: Ooooh, look, there's a nice policeman!
Transit cop, cracking up: No, I'm a meeeean policeman, a baaaad policeman. Some people even call me unpleasant. But I'll point ya to where ya wanna go.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Officer Friendly?

Posted on August 10, 2009
Cops, Directions, Penn Station, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists