Grizzly-faced tourist: Yeah, you see those trees over there?
Companion: Yeah.
Grizzly-faced tourist: Those were here when New York was invented by Ed Koch.
–Central Park West & 72nd St
Grizzly-faced tourist: Yeah, you see those trees over there?
Companion: Yeah.
Grizzly-faced tourist: Those were here when New York was invented by Ed Koch.
–Central Park West & 72nd St
Shiksa: Is semen kosher for Passover?
Jewish girl: I think so. Sperm don't have hooves.
–23rd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jason
19-year-old girl, considering free wine: Isn't it a sin to drink? Or just to get drunk?
19-year-old friend: I think it's just a sin to get really drunk. Drinking is allowed, though.
–Sunny's Restaurant
JAP: So, they're opening this new pop-up shop in SoHo…
Asian friend: Why is it when white people open a temporary store it's called a “pop-up shop,” but when any other race does, it's called a “bazaar?”
–Q15 Bus
Boy: If my hand was botoxed, could I hold hot things without getting hurt?
–K-Mart, Astor Place
Drunk douchebag: If I was a gay guy, I totally wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend, unless it was with a hot chick.
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to another, as smoking hot woman walks by: She's so hot I'd eat the corn out of her poop!
–42nd & Broadway
Guy to dinner date: I hate it when people tag me on Facebook. It's like, I'm in sweat pants! I'm a mess! I just ran three miles, leave me alone… You're gonna tag that?! Like "tap that." You're gonna "tag that"? (pause) What do you think about the waitress, pretty hot huh?
–Diner, Washington Heights
Overheard by: April Marks
Two-year-old boy to mom: And after dinner, it's butt-shaking time!
–Brooklyn Heights
Tot in stroller: Mommy, I want the tabouleh… Mommy! My tabouleh!
–Food Emporium
Little brother pestering older brother playing PSP: What do you like better, Nutella or A-Rod?
–Stanton Tailor Shop
Two-year-old, after falling to floor when train swerved: Mother, I resent that.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Sassy black woman: You think I would have brunch in Harlem? I wouldn't even have lunch in Harlem!
–D Train
Overheard by: laughing
Dramatic girl on cell: But I love you. I would go to Harlem and back for you!
–Starbucks
Girl: Wow, Harlem is like a cultural playground. There are stores and everything.
–Metro-North
Columbia freshman girl: I would never let anybody in Harlem touch my vagina.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meagan
Infuriated hippie girl: Dad, where did mom put my yoga mat?!
Dad: I… I don't know.
Infuriated hippie girl: She moved the one that I like!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Celeste
Student #1: Hey, where N'Sync at?
Student #2: It's not “where N'Sync at,” it's “where are N'Sync at”?
–Times Square
Guy: I mean, we're on an island, too.
Girl: Seriously?
–1 Train
