Man at female stranger: Can I ask you a question? (woman just looks at him) Do you like…(pauses dramatically) mermaids? (woman crosses the street)
–Herald Square
Man at female stranger: Can I ask you a question? (woman just looks at him) Do you like…(pauses dramatically) mermaids? (woman crosses the street)
–Herald Square
Dad to three-year-old daughter: No, honey, moose don't moo.
Daughter: Moose don't moo?
–7 train
Girl #1: You still haven't told me what you want for Christmas.
Girl #2: I don't know, um, I like books…
Girl #1: You like books, or you like reading books?
–F Train
Overheard by: Heidi
Flamboyant man in sunglasses, after pushing his way into the closing doors: Whew, I made it, I don't have to wait 20 minutes… Where's my applause?
(two tourists applaud half-heartedly)
Flamboyant man: Thank you, thank you. Now don't you feel better now that you've applauded?
–A Train
Random girl: I think PETA should be informed any time an animal is fully submerged in a vagina.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Jen
20-something platinum blonde to another: Her vagina… Her vagina must be the size of, like, the Grand Canyon.
–7th Ave & 12th St
Girl, about her play: I don't think people are going to laugh about the vagina being killed on stage… Yeah, no one's gonna laugh when the vagina dies.
–NYU
Dude questioning another: What do mean by "moderate Taliban"? Like the women can wax their vaginas?
–Elizabeth Street
Young man shouting on cell: Then just tell her you don't like her vagina!
–26th St & Park Ave
Hipstress to another: At least now if you find a baby on your doorstep, you'll have a dresser drawer to put it in.
–Pete's Candy Store, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mat Freimuth
Gamer on headset, freaking out: Oh my god, why would you move the couch!? Why the hell did you move it, idiot!? When you move a couch, bad things happen! Move the couch… You stupid… Oh my god. Wanna know why we all died after moving the couch? Because we moved the damn couch!
–Glendale
Middle-aged woman backing away from pink, cushioned chair for sale: Only $199? I wonder what it would be like to fuck on that chair!
–Hamilton Heights
Angry wife: No, it's fine, at least I finally know how you truly feel about throw pillows.
–65th St & Broadway
Girl #1: Ohmigod, how do you do it so fast?
Girl #2: Strong finger.
–34th St
Overheard by: Haley
Guy: So I was like, “Well, then I'm glad I gave you a black eye after I fucked you!”
Girl: Oh my gosh, are you Jewish?
–49th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Natalie
30-something girlfriend: Will you calm down?
30-something boyfriend: I drank red wine!
–Lafayette & Prince
Overheard by: Jon A.
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: So, you know Liz on the 10th floor?
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what about her?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: I was trying to tell her that she needs to stop fuckin with me.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what'd she say?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: Bitch hung up in my face.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: Yeah. I called her back.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what'd you say?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: I said, “Yo, Liz! That was like maaaad unprofessional and shit.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: MissUNYC
