Middle aged woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find English muffins?
Teen employee: All the muffins are in that aisle over there, but I don't know where they are from.
–Waldbaums Supermarket, Bayside
Middle aged woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find English muffins?
Teen employee: All the muffins are in that aisle over there, but I don't know where they are from.
–Waldbaums Supermarket, Bayside
Redhead: So, what’s your favorite planet?
Blonde: Mercury.
Redhead: Oh, come on. Mercury is the sun’s little bitch.
Blonde: Well then, what’s the moon?
Redhead: Y’know, if you look at the sun, it can get bright sometimes.
–Elevator, Hotel Edison
Customer: What happened to your hair?
Male barista (showing off haircut): Locks of love… locks of love.
Customer: So… someday I’ll wear your hair in a play?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Maggie
Thug to young friend checking DVDs in library: How come you got a library card?
Friend: Because I'm…normal?
–Seward Park Library, Broadway & Rutgers
Overheard by: Puma
Perky trainer: Before we start the class, is there anyone with any injuries that I need to be aware of?
Chubby girl who smells vaguely of cigarettes: Does a hangover count?
–Equinox Gym, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Ladle
Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny!
–24th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Joseph
Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do.
–12th St & University Place
Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change?
–87th & Broadway
Overheard by: Nynanny
Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish.
–McLean Ave, Yonkers
Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted.
–Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: craig hunter
Crazy man: Girl, you been married?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: You divorced?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: How many times you been married?
(teenager girl holds out five fingers)
Crazy man: Damn girl, I've only been married once and we're still together.
–Time Square Shuttle
Overheard by: Holly
Waitress with thick accent: Jennifer Lopez, she pregnant again?
Hostess with equally thick accent: Yes, think so.
Waitress: She never tell anyone!
Hostess: I know, she keeps secret.
Waitress: She go on the talk show. They ask her all the questions. “Are you going to have a baby?” All she do is laugh. She just laugh! She never says anything! She never answers!
–Lindy's Resteraunt
Overheard by: Chloefron
Suave guy: Where are you from?
Drunk girl: New Jersey!
Suave guy: Oh, yeah? That's cool!
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Black guy #1: I got Allison a gift for Valentine's Day.
Black guy #2: I also got Allison a gift.
Black guy #1: Wait, black Allison?
–6 Train
