Because Robert Frost Just Isn't Ghetto Enough

Guy: Just know I chose my own fate: I drove by the fork in the road and went straight. Isn't it deep? I'm getting it tattooed on my shoulder.
Girl: Who are you quoting?
Guy: Jay-Z.

–34th St, Penn Station

Overheard by: No Lie

Headline by: Lauren

Runners-Up:
· “”99 Problems But a Bitch Ain’t One” Was Taken” – Cass
· “Just How Big Is Your Shoulder?” – porter
· “Maybe You Should Tattoo That Between Your Legs…” – LPS
· “Monkeys With Typewriters Couldn’t Ever End Up With Gold Like That” – Caitorade
· “The Confucious Of Our Generation” – Fresca

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on December 2, 2015
Body Parts, Girls, Guys, Headline Contest Winners, Music, Penn Station, Questions, Tattoos

And These New Radioactive Maxi Pads Are All the Rage!

Waitress's friend: You doin' somethin' different with your hair? You got a glow about you.
Waitress, whispering but audible by everyone around: I'm on the rag, yo!

–Garden Grill, Graham Ave

Overheard by: digamma

Posted on December 2, 2015
Baristas, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Friends, Hair, Menstruation, Physical appearance, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Put Them on One Leg at a Time

Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants?

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants!

–81st & Roosevelt Ave

Overheard by: Jobee

Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on?

–8th & Broadway

Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform.

–Times Square Shuttle Station

Overheard by: Heather

Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Shira

Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train?

–W. Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jon A.

Posted on November 27, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Boys, Brooklyn, Clothing, Cops, Coworkers, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Girls, Kids, Nudity, Offers and requests, On Cell, Physical appearance, Poop, Public Transportation, Queens, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

Hush, Little Wednesday, Don't You One-Liner

Mother to screaming child: Please stop crying and put your coat on. I am not hurting you or torturing you, so please stop crying.

–4th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: olivejuice

Father to kid who just started crying: Hey, stop! I thought I told you to wait until we got home!

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Lucian

Guy to girl, on Valentine's Day: You look fat when you cry.

–Cobble Hill

Overheard by: MJB

Hispanic man on phone to girlfriend: Ma, why you cryin?! You should be breaking up with me because I hit you!

–Staten Island Ferry

Guy to girlfriend: I'm sorry I pulled your hair while you were crying.

–Bowery & 2nd

Posted on November 24, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Crying, Dads, Diet/Weight, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Hair, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Latinos, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Park Slope, Physical appearance, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Staten Island Ferry, Union Square and East Village, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-Liners Take Up Hobbies

Middle-aged woman: I really never cared for skiing, but I was so alone in my marriage, I found it was a great way to meet men.

–Burritoville, 77th & 2nd

Meathead #1, to meathead #2: Hey! Want to go to a ballroom club?

–47th & Madison

Guy, to passersby: Game of chess? Play chess? Chess?…Also got chronic.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Phil

Posted on November 22, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clubs, Guys, Idiots, Infidelity, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sports, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Women

After She Retired from Cosby, Stills, and Nash

Middle aged woman #1: I saw that woman of The Cosby Show near Wall Street yesterday.
Middle aged woman #2: Wow, you did not! Which one?
Middle aged woman #1: Whoopi Goldberg–the one that was married to Bill Cosby in the show!
Middle aged woman #2: Oh yeah, I remember her. I think she changed her name to Whoopi Cosby now.

–A Train

Overheard by: Dora Olafsson

Posted on November 22, 2015
About Celebrities, Default, Names, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, TV, Women

Your Editors Googled Up 159,000 Hits

Guy #1: There’s just no place to go dancing, you know?
Guy #2: You can’t find a dance club in New York?
Guy #1: No, it’s just not right –I really like to Lindy.
Guy #2: …
Guy #1: …
Guy #2: Dude. Where the hell do you learn to Lindy?

–34th & Broadway

Posted on November 17, 2015
Dancing, Default, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nostalgia, Questions

Young Urban Professional Wednesday One-Liners

Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.

–14th & 8th

Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!

–St. Mark's Place

Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…

–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill

Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!

–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave

Posted on November 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Height, Kids, Men, Money & Class, One-liners, Philosophy, Pictures, Psychology, Questions, Rack, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words, Yuppies

Yeah, But That's Like Saying “World Peace”

Girl, passing by a store: Hey, is there anything you want?
Guy: To get ABBA out of my head!

–6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Heck Yeah

Posted on November 11, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Guys, Music, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Keep Their Eyes Peeled for Movie Stars

Tourist backpacker with hands on subway doors: Do these open on their own?

–1 Train

Tourist mom to uncool son: Well, that's what you get for trying to be a hipster!

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: j

Tourist: Holy moly, look at that Olive Garden! It's huge! I wish I lived here!
(takes a picture of the restaurant)

–Times Square

Obese Midwestern woman to obese Midwestern man: Oooh, Applebee's… Now I feel at home here!

–Times Square

Southern tourist guy: I thought people in Greenwich Village would look stranger.

–Bleecker Street

Tourist from west coast, after observing the locals for a few innings: You know, Seinfeld makes so much more sense to me now.

–Cheap Seats, Coney Island Cyclones

Overheard by: Kevin Eliasen

Posted on November 11, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Coney Island, Fat People, Food, Midwesterners, Moms, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

Questions