Young Urban Professional Wednesday One-Liners

Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.

–14th & 8th

Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!

–St. Mark's Place

Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…

–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill

Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!

–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave

Posted on November 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Height, Kids, Men, Money & Class, One-liners, Philosophy, Pictures, Psychology, Questions, Rack, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words, Yuppies

Yeah, But That's Like Saying “World Peace”

Girl, passing by a store: Hey, is there anything you want?
Guy: To get ABBA out of my head!

–6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Heck Yeah

Posted on November 11, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Guys, Music, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Keep Their Eyes Peeled for Movie Stars

Tourist backpacker with hands on subway doors: Do these open on their own?

–1 Train

Tourist mom to uncool son: Well, that's what you get for trying to be a hipster!

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: j

Tourist: Holy moly, look at that Olive Garden! It's huge! I wish I lived here!
(takes a picture of the restaurant)

–Times Square

Obese Midwestern woman to obese Midwestern man: Oooh, Applebee's… Now I feel at home here!

–Times Square

Southern tourist guy: I thought people in Greenwich Village would look stranger.

–Bleecker Street

Tourist from west coast, after observing the locals for a few innings: You know, Seinfeld makes so much more sense to me now.

–Cheap Seats, Coney Island Cyclones

Overheard by: Kevin Eliasen

Posted on November 11, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Coney Island, Fat People, Food, Midwesterners, Moms, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

But If You Write It All Down, You’re a Novelist

Mom: Are you talking to yourself?
Five-year-old: Yes.
Mom: As long as you don’t answer yourself.
Five-year-old: Why?
Mom: Because then you’re crazy.

–N Train

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on November 9, 2015
Crazy, Default, Fears, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Questions

You'd Think People Of Mediterranean Descent Would All Get Along Swimmingly

Guido: Excuse me, miss? Miss? Have I seen you in my church?
20-something girl: No.
Guido: No, no, I definitely saw you in my church. We go to the same one.
20-something girl, sighing: Sir… If I went to any house of worship, it'd be a synagogue. And I stay as far away from those as possible. Have a nice day now.
Guido: Aaaaawww, I liiike you!

–82nd & Broadway

Posted on November 4, 2015
Church, Girls, Guidos, Judaism, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Readers: Answer This Overheard Question

Little Asian girl: Mommy, are you Jewish?

–86th & Broadway

Posted on October 29, 2015
Asians, Kids, Questions, Religion, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Just Like I Did for My Cirque Du Soleil Audition

Blond girl: So how are things with you and the boy?
Redheaded friend: I'm so happy I could shit a puppy!

–G Train

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on October 28, 2015
Friends, Girls, Happiness, On the Subway, Questions, Relationships

How Fox Decides What Shows Will Go to Syndication

Dad: King of the Hill?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah!
Dad: Simpsons?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah!
Dad: Alf?
Six-year-old daughter: Noooooooo.

–117th & Broadway

Posted on October 24, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Girls, Kids, Questions, TV, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

If Our Society Has Learned Nothing Else from “Total Request Live”, It's That.

Teacher: What's going on, guys? Why are your test scores so low?
Emotional girl: Well, there's just so much homework and you want to do it all, but you also want to really understand the material and there's just so much of it, and it's just so hard and … (squeals loudly)
Girl next to her: Nothing to express teenage angst like a good squeal.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on October 23, 2015
Education, Fast Times at New York High, Queens, Questions, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, Wishes & desires

Yeah, but They Don’t Eat Much

Woman #1: Why shouldn’t I trust him? Because he’s gay?
Woman #2: No. Because he might be Jeffrey Dahmer.
Woman #1: He might be Jeffrey Dahmer?
Woman #2: Yeah. I just don’t trust anyone.
Woman #1: You’re friends with crackheads!

–N Train

Posted on October 20, 2015
Advice, Crime and Punishment, Default, Drugs, Fears, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Questions, Threats, Women

Questions